The lazy texter
I find it a bit ironic, that here comes the moment, where I have to distill my texting wisdom. I always hated texting, it is the part of Seduction where we have the least control on. No non-verbals allowed, no calibration is possible by observing what the girl is doing. Your message can be read one way if she is relaxed and happy, and in a totally different way if she is in a rush and stressed.
To this end, my texting game evolved for one purpose and one purpose only. To get the girl out on a date. Compared to Krauser, who famously advocated for Long Game, or his intricate breakdown in Daygame Infinite, I aim to set up a date with the least drama possible. Before we jump into practical advice, let’s put this in perspective.
Rethinking complex Texting Game
It is true, there is a skill to texting game. You can estimate best times to send a text, ways to convey emotion via text, and develop sexual escalation via text. The rewards are also real; people report inviting girls directly to their home or receiving nudes.
My criticism for that is quite simple. Unless you are highly cockblocked by logistics, then you can do this stuff and more on the date. Physical escalation is also the one that matters, because receiving nudes doesn’t count as a notch. If you are highly cockblocked by logistics, I don’t see how getting a nude is a reward, as you are spinning your wheels without practically getting closer to sex.
Therefore, texting game, and how much you engage with it, comes down to personal preference. If you enjoy it for the sake of it, engage with it to your heart’s content. But if you are like me, and you cannot be bothered about it… read on.
Types of Messages
The benefit of analysis is that we can distill different messages into simple recurring patterns. Here are some of the building blocks.
The introduction text
This is the first text you send after the stop. The prototypical structure is as follows:
Hey her Name, callback humor, nice to meet you earlier.
– Your Name
Callback humor can be:
- Whatever you said during your Stack, for example “the girl with the big glasses”
- Something she said about her “the girl that sleeps too much”
- Something you observed in set (and verbalized) “the girl that laughs like a squirrel”
Keep it simple and keep it short. Ideally, this text is 2-3 lines max. This is short enough to match her response, usually an acknowledgement.
Things to avoid:
Similar to the stack, I prefer subtle humor compared to blatant absurdity. I would shy away from “the crazy Italian girl” for example.
Additionally, I am against presumptive forward statements. I don’t know the origin, but I have seen way too many people use stuff of the shorts “are you always friendly to strangers?”. This message is trying to progress the frame by inviting her to point out why the approach was different. It might work, probably it won’t, but the whole point is… you don’t have a reason to place it there. It is a bad moment for it.
General Ping
The ping message is a message you send on absence conversation threads that can continue. Usually, her response to the intro above is just an acknowledgement, so your second message is a ping.
The best ping messages are what have been dubbed “Windows to my world”. Just send a picture of something interesting in your day, with a little spin on it to make it palatable.
For example:
- “Afternoon in X park, I am watching the ducks” + picture
- “Today, I got a big coffee” + picture of a jug of coffee
- “In X place. This is Mike, he is a writer and a free thinker” + picture of a seagul
Essentially, this message introduces a topic. Feel free to ping like that when a conversation thread dies out.
Happy statements – fill the void
This is a spinoff of ping messages. I am strongly of the opinion that texting is meant to be read easily and fill the void. It is not meant to raise attraction or do complicated games.
Therefore, these are type of messages that will read like utter horseshit to guys, but are very palatable to the females. It is the same sort of idea that makes girls fill their homes with encouraging statements like “you are pretty” or whatever. Such messages can look like this:
- “I just got big coffee. Everyone needs a coffee in the morning” + picture of coffee cup.
- “Today in X park. Sun make everyone happy” + picture.
Again, such messages don’t aim at anything. It is a testament to the banality of women. It fills the void until you ask her out for the date.
Teasing and trolling
This is the type of attraction that is acceptable in texting. The idea is from Krauser. If she tells you something on the lines of “I am doing shopping now”, or she told you something in set, for example, “she likes cooking”, then you can reply with a funny picture instead of going into her frame and entering a boring discussion:
- Cooking: Send a picture of Ratatouille guy – “I found a picture of you”
- Shopping: Send a little girl in the shopping mall – “Hmm, this is you?”
Logistics
Handling logistics in text is very simple. Aim to remove all the friction:
- Set day first: “Let’s meet Thursday/Friday“
- Then time: “How about 6pm“
- Then place: “Let us meet in X place“
Place X can be either central or near a station or a landmark. It is more important to make it easy to find and navigate, rather than make it better logistically (i.e., next to your home).
During these type of messages, forget all attraction and comfort. Speak at face value and aim to make the process easy to understand and reply.
The Texting Procedure
Let us introduce the tenets of text game.
If she responds, invite her out
This is it, many a people get confused about when to ask a girl out. How to pivot in asking a girl out. You can be smooth and cheeky about it… or you can ask her out. You don’t need a pretence, if you did half decent job on the stop, she knows where the texting leads. Her responding is the signal, because if she weren’t interested, she simply wouldn’t reply.
Therefore, the basic structure of texting is like this:
- Introductory text
- Ping
- Maybe: Happy statement/teasing text
- Invitation and logistics
You don’t need anything else. By inviting them out faster rather than later, you screen out timewasters.
How long to respond
It is usually advised to match her vacuum, plus some extra. I agree with this, but only in absence of context.
If she takes within 1 hour to reply, match her energy. Take an equal time.
If she takes 3 or 4 hours to reply, then assess. Was she at an activity or at work, and she is free now? Then you can reply between 30 mins to 1 hour later. It is more crucial to find pockets of time where she is free to text, rather than stroking your ego and replying in kind.
How much to text
There is the famous advice from Roissy, that you should reply at 2/3rds of her reply length. Meh… I think this is a bit too strict.
The principle here is how much to invest, or what investment even means. You should calibrate your texting length to her energy level, but you should do that on her expected reply, not her prior reply.
Texts of 2-3 lines operate in the sweet spot. You can reply on that length regardless of how short her reply was. If her reply was excessively long, tend to reply on the longer side, but as long as you cover all her topics, you are good to go.
When to send the introductory message
I stand by this, send it 1.30 to 2 hours after the interaction. Even if she is on another activity, it doesn’t matter. I prefer to text and her taking 3 hours to reply, than try to guess when she would most likely have free time to reply.
Spacing the texting into longer intervals, for example, one text every 1-2 hours, makes the whole thing less of a headache to track.
When to set up the date
When I ask them for a date, I always invite them 2 and also 3 or 4 days after the current day. For example, if it is Tuesday, I will send something along the lines “Let’s meet Thursday/Saturday” or “Let’s meet Thursday/Friday“.
Why? Because a small vacuum is ok, a big one needs maintenance. For example, if it is Tuesday and you set the date for Thursday, you can leave Wednesday blank without texting. You already have set your appointment. But if your appointment is for Sunday, then you need some maintenance texting to fill the void.
The date invitation pivot
This is one of my favorites in terms of closing the gap. Say it is Monday, and we are setting up the date. The idea is to split the logistical set up between Monday and Tuesday. Here is the example:
- You: Let’s meet on Wednesday
- She: Accepts
- You: Cool, 5pm good?
- She: Accepts
- You: Then I will think of a good place to meet, and text you again tomorrow
Then on the next day, follow:
- Ping
- She replies whatever
- Set up location
You don’t lose anything by this delay, and you successfully fill up the time in a natural way.
Texting maintenance
If logistics don’t work out, and you set the date more than 2 days away, you will need some texting maintenance for the in-between time.
There is no skill to this; as long as you don’t lose value, you are succeeding. Fill the void with pings and happy statements, aim for 2-3 messages per day unless she is a texter.
If you can find pockets of high-intensity texting, it is even better. For example, if there is a pocket of 10-20 minutes where you exchange some texts, then finish with “I need to get to X activity, catch you other time” and this closes your thread naturally. Reopen with a ping the next day or later.
