As a result of social dynamics, Game in Greece tends to deviate towards social game. It bypasses the one big hurdle, the low social trust of the locals.
Managing a schedule of events and parties means that all guests are within a few degrees of separation. Introductions and the common activity give the illusion of a shared tribe, which makes girls more open to being approached.
Fair enough, there is a problem, how to get laid, and this is a way to efficiently solve it in Greece. However, this has given the sentiment that Daygame is low value, a cold approach that starts with a compliment means “you are giving your value away“. I highly object to such a statement, so here is my interpretation of the early dynamics of a daygame approach.
For an overview of cold approach vs ecosystem, refer to Krauser’s article here. It is really well written. I will only analyse the frame of the approach.
Internal vs external reference
This is the first building block to giving a compliment. External reference means that the value is objective, and you have to react to it. For example, “iPhone is a prestigious phone, so every time there is a new release, I buy the new iPhone” is a fully externally referenced phrase. Exaggeration, but stay with me.
The mechanics are as follows. First is the origin of the value. Here, “prestigious” means “valued by others”, it’s herd mentality at play. Why is it good? Because my 20 friends also want it, and the guy on the internet says it is good. Appearance before substance.
The second part is your reaction: “Every time there is a new release, I buy the new iPhone”. Once you make such a statement, you outsource all of your agency to Apple. Your bank account balance is a little less within your control and a little more within Apple’s.
Then, yes, a compliment from an externally referenced frame is value-giving. Because it communicates at some conscious or unconscious level abdication of responsibility and abdication of freedom of action. I.e., Follower and Beta with neon signs. Does this example sound extreme? Think about it the next time you call a girl beautiful because she is “blonde” or “tall” or “has a big Instagram account” or any other socially accepted/desirable traits.
Now let’s compare an internally referenced statement “I like iPhone, because they have a good processor for job X and I also like the airtag system because I travel a lot. Finally, the design clicks with me”. The result is the same; the person saying this also probably buys an iPhone. But the difference is massive. This person maintains the right to walk away. In the following sense, he has a list of reasons that he likes the iPhone, based on his likes and dislikes. iPhone fits them, so it is a good match. But the moment a different phone also fits these, it is also a good candidate, and you might as well switch.
This is not to say that Internal reference is utilitarian, but it is to say that the reason you like the thing is equally or more important than the thing itself. The external reference viewpoint is liking the thing for the thing itself.
The opening statements of the daygame approach are akin to a glorified pick-up line (albeit personal and calibrated). But whether this is value giving is determined from your frame, communicated via subcoms, and not from the words themselves. Comparatively, me saying that “Sydney Opera House is beautiful” or “I like a Picasso painting” is not value giving. It is my personal opinion, and it expresses my taste.
The value add
The prior section covered why giving a compliment tease is not value giving. Now we will explain why the approach is value-added.
The girl walks on her merry way, a daygamer stops her, gives the compliment, and the assumption story. Her day might have been boring, she might be thinking about her assignment or work. Or her day might be happy and she was enjoying the sun and the flowers. Chances are however, that her world was monotone, i.e. she has walked this road over and over, had similar thoughts over and over.
Then comes you, the daygamer. The assumption stack is a total reframe of her world. With good non-verbals, it becomes a colourful, vivid experience. Her jacket is not just a run-of-the-mill puffer jacket; she is an Eskimo who left her dog sled around the corner and decided to walk. Yes, this world with all its feelings exists… when she stays within your frame and chats with you. She can always break off and return to her monotonous world, but she chooses to stay.
Girls don’t have control over their emotions. They are the storm and you are the oak tree, is the typical manosphere metaphor. Their emotions exist, and mostly they react to them (within gradations, of course). The ability to manufacture and create such a vivid experience is male. So when you go and present this colourful viewpoint to her. That is value add.
