Finally, we arrive at the holy grail of Daygame. The opportunity for ultra-fast escalation. Essentially, turning the street into a daylight club for the purposes of seduction. Before we delve into the analysis, we will discuss a few disclaimers.
Mentality
It is true, a Same Day Lay or a 2-hour date lay is the ultimate expression of your seduction skills. However, it is not a sustainable goal; you cannot just go out and demand the universe to give you a girl who will be in your bed in 2 hours. The whole process is more luck than skill, albeit the “skill” is a hard prerequisite. This metaphor explains the situation.Imagine you are a mountain climber, but you are currently broke and stuck in your boring job. One day, somebody offers you a free trip to Tibet to climb mt. Everest. Everything is paid for and set up for you. Amazing offer, right? Well, depends on whether you can actually climb Everest or not. If you cannot, this is an express offer to an early grave.
This is the correct mentality for fast escalation. You cannot and should not expect the universe to give you such opportunities, but when they come, you should take advantage of them, provided that the skill is there.
Building on the point above is the fact that fast escalation depends on the girl more than you. It is more that she allows you to escalate her fast than something you do, trigger, or induce in her. In fact, most of the girls won’t be up for a fast lay. If you can sniff this early, then a slower dating structure is more appropriate. Plenty of times, I had girls up for it, but failed on the most important step of the seduction, actually getting the lay. This was because girls were ok with fooling around and feeling the excitement of the seduction dance, but even from the beginning, they were a No in the question of sex or no sex.
Most of the time, we, as Players, cannot know if the girl is up for sex unless we reach the point of asking the question. Sometimes, the only thing we can do is roll the dice and hope for a favourable result. This even gets mandatory when we are pressured from other factors to escalate fast, for example, time constraints. Understand and accept this, fast escalation is like a firework. The fuse goes off, and it gains altitude quickly. Sometimes it will climax into a spectacle, and sometimes it will fail to ignite and fall on the ground.
Finally, nearly categorically, the speed of seduction is inversely proportional to the hotness of the girl. There is an exception for Western girls because … feminism and materialism made them more open to it – don’t bitch about this, it’s to our advantage as Players. Nearly all my fast lays were with 7s and below, and all of the 8s and above took more than one date. There was only one Australian girl, who most people who saw her picture would rate as a 9, and that was a 1.30 hour lay. For this to happen, I was 1) really lucky, 2) her type, and 3) it was a one-and-done.
Calibration and Amber lights
Calibration is the foundation of advanced Game. Why? Think about it… what is the best model for girl X? Well, whatever is tailored to girl X based on her character, ambitions, and life experience. At the end of the day, some people get action by putting a leash around their necks and letting the girl parade them on the street like dogs.
Hence, what is calibration? It is an approximation of this perfect date model for girl X. On top of that, what makes “perfect calibration” deviate from the imaginary “perfect model” is quite easy to point out. It is 1) information imbalance, 2) the Player’s character and ID (i.e., you wouldn’t put a leash around your neck … right ?) and 3) innate girl’s preferences (for some girls, the “perfect model” is don’t even try). This is Calibration spelled clearly. By defining it, now you can strive for it.
Disclaimer: This is applied calibration. A practical version of the inner workings of the concept. It doesn’t invalidate our other theoretical definition of it. In fact, they converge.
The discussion now turns to Amber lights. People prefer Green lights – when a girl gives some signal, it is ok to escalate – but the reality of things is that the faster you push things, the amount of hints you will get tends to be big old zero. This is a feature; she has to test you. And if we are going fast, she has to test you even more.
I remember a date I had with a Japanese girl, after about 1 hour, it was time for the kiss. I told her I wanted to kiss her, and she sat silent, staring at the distance for 10-15 seconds, not moving, not giving any hint, not saying anything. At that point, I leaned in, gauged her reaction, and kissed her… she loved it! This is an example of Amber lights. I guarantee you, those 10 seconds felt like a year, and it requires balls of steel and extreme calibration to break through it.
Amber light skillset
Well, there is skill in amber escalation. How do we develop that skill?
Crush and burn
The biggest factor is your willingness to crush and burn. Going too fast for her limits (i.e., over-escalating), of course, is a minus in the eyes of the girl. But it is not the worst thing that could happen. If we are doing a half-decent job at the initial approach, the girl should get the hint of what dating you means. Daygame is simply designed to communicate that this is fast-paced adventure dating. With this in mind, it is actually more uncalibrated and incongruent to not escalate than to escalate faster.
Overselling
The second idea revolves around your confidence in your understanding of the dating process. The key point here is to “not oversell”.
Imagine you have to sell a shirt. You talk to the customer about the material, the cut, and maybe the collar. You can go one step further and discuss the color and how it matches the customer’s complexion, but beyond that… what do you say? Do you start discussing how each individual thread has been sewn? Fuck no, you just ask the customer whether he wanna buy or not. This is the same mindset as escalation. The moment you keep displaying value and get nothing in return, it works against you.
To do this effectively, you need to have an accurate idea of your value display. If you express too much, then you need to escalate to capitalize on it. Strategically speaking, when we gain a small advantage, we advance. If she doesn’t reciprocate, then maybe she is a time-waster, you have to start assessing this scenario.
Probing
Finally, the golden bullet is what is called “Probing”. Probing means that you send a small signal. But not for the signal itself; instead, you are trying to assess the state of the girl. For example, you want to know how comfortable she is with physical intimacy. Find an excuse to ask for her hand and assess how she reacts to the touch. Think about the following:
- “How willingly did she give you her hand?”
- “Did she pull out immediately?”
- ”Did she have a smile?“
The goal is to gather information, not to escalate. Experience and probes can allow you to be a literal mind reader.
To be fair, the damsels are really impressed by this. Not uncommonly, they even verbalize this. But once you learn to probe and read signals, it’s not magic. Eventually, the situation turns on its head. To me, it’s more weird how unaware they are of the signals they give.
Re-structuring the dating process
Traditional Daygame literature has a dating structure of 2-3 venues, compartmentalised with different aspects of seduction in each. The first one is for getting to know each other, the second is for light escalation, and the last is for heavy escalation. Well, it works; it is the layman’s method. We will simplify it:
Getting to know each other → Kiss → Bounceback
Why these three specific aspects in the model? It is because this is the bare minimum of seduction. You just can’t go without those. I personally do 1 venue (a coffee) and then some prolonged walk to the taxi or to my place. Of course, adjust it based on your logistics.
Getting to know each other
Getting to know each other is a prerequisite. It is not socially calibrated to escalate before that. This takes from 15 minutes to one hour, depending on the girl. This is where you showcase your life (and value) and let her do the same. It is also the basis for further calibration along the process.
Kiss
Escalating to the kiss is the second step of the process. This part should be gradual with increasing intimacy up to the kiss (but it depends on the girl as well). Usually, handholding is free after the previous step, then it is about coming closer to each other → to hugging → to kissing.
Kissing is the socially accepted way to say this is serious now (in the West, at least). It is an important step based on a shared understanding of culture.
Bounceback
Sexual escalation happens after. I prefer to preserve it for the seduction location, but you can start drawing LMR out earlier. As a rule of thumb, I wouldn’t try to bounce back before a make-out.
Timings
These numbers come from my experience, so take them as a reference and adjust for your style accordingly.
- Getting to know each other: 15 minutes to 1 hour. More than one hour, you are certainly dragging things too much.
- Escalating to a kiss: Immediately to 45 minutes more. If you are getting resistance here, think about either slowing down or having a second date.
- Escalating to bounce back: around 1.30 to 3.30 hours from the start of the date.
A bounceback that takes more than 4-5 hours, in my opinion, is dubious. It is either an outlier and you should proceed only if your calibration says so, or a straight-up time-waster and you should eject. At most extreme, I think I have done 13 dates with no sex. I never got the lay even after all that work. Doing more dates certainly didn’t get me closer to sex; it probably worked against me.
The process of Seduction
We will distinguish two modes of analysis here:
- The first level of abstraction: this is how seduction proceeds based on the time limits above.
- The actual hands-on seduction: what you live moment by moment.
Number 1) should be a straight line. If we are talking about fast escalation, you shouldn’t be getting resistance. It should be progressing smoothly within time limits.
But… for number 2), the girl is allowed to give you a shitstorm, and you should be thanking her on top of that. Simply put, we are asking life something out of the ordinary, and we should be getting tested out of the ordinary as well. The girl must test your frame, your character, and your seduction skill. She has a right to give you shit tests, and by no means should she make it easy for you. Here is where your Game is truly tested and what makes Daygame so exciting. Every lay is an unlikely scenario full of adversity.
PDA culture and kissing
Some cultures are discouraging of Public Displays of Affection. It is very common in Asia, for example. The girls simply won’t kiss in public or do much of anything except light hand holding. This creates a dilemma for us, the Players. How do we gauge her interest if she won’t kiss simply from public pressure?
There are only two possible workarounds. We can either try to find spots without many people. Then we can tell if she is not kissing because of social pressure or because she doesn’t fancy us. Or we should calibrate for other signals that signify that the relationship has crossed the kissing barrier. There are no specific pointers for the last part. It is really up to the Player’s calibration. However, it is not uncommon for the first kiss to happen after the bounceback.
