Clickbait title? You betcha. But this is Coffee Daygame, so we can’t just churn junk. Buckle up for a deep dive into the mechanics of Daygame. From a bird’s eye view, we can categorize all aspects of Daygame into:
- Technique
- Volume
- Value
- Inner Game
- Logistics
If you have all 5, you will get laid from Daygame. If not now, maybe in the next 30-50 sets, but you will get laid. Miss one, and maybe you can get some lays here and there. Miss two and you probably won’t get a lay. Did we just prove the brutal learning curve of our beloved discipline?
To add salt to the wound, Daygame is harsh enough to not reward you with lays until that intermediate phase. We don’t have the advantages of Nightgame with drunk, horny, DTF girls to get “lucky” lays. There is a long road of existential dread before Daygame presents its gifts. Thankfully, those gifts are worth it, so don’t lose hope.
Stages and Pillars
When a beginner discovers Daygame, he doesn’t have any Pillars mastered yet. He doesn’t even know they exist! During those first steps, it is blind leading the blind. To discover them, he needs to ask the right questions.
Thankfully, infield experience is enough to make these questions appear at the forefront of his mind. One way or another, he will encounter roadblocks that demand answers. The reality of things is that the deep introspection that Game demands can only be motivated externally. Men refuse to face Ego death without real-world evidence (and even then, some people still refuse to face it). The adversity makes the Man in Game.
Trouble begins when the Journey doesn’t present those questions that lead to improvement in a nice, digestible way. At each stage of your Journey, only some of those become available for the student to address. Daygame presents problems at a non-uniform pace. We will explore precisely this aspect of the journey. It is a long journey, and this isn’t a flaw but a feature — there are simply too many elements that must be addressed.
However, to analyze the journey itself, we need a vocabulary to express the psychic interplay. Let us build on Daygame wisdom.
A model of the Soul
Before anything, we need a model of the Soul. There is much interplay happening in our brains. We have our goals, but we also have the millions of excuses that come up against those goals. Hence, improvement isn’t a linear path of setting a target and advancing towards there. Instead, what happens is your brain tries to subvert you every step of the way. For a brain that is evolved for survival in the savannah, maintaining coherence and the status quo is much more important.
These are the roots of the so-called Ego-traps. Game is full of those because it deals with one of the two fundamental aspects of life. The purpose of all organisms, evolutionary speaking, is Survival and Replication. Game is the Replication aspect itself.
To be able to address the issue of Ego traps, we need to first verbalise the issue. For much of the Daygame community, myself included, a mix of concepts from Jung and Freud has helped.
- Self: Call this the id, the true self, or the inner core. It is the very deepest part of your Soul. It can see the world objectively. In terms of winning and losing. In terms of advantages and disadvantages. Dopamine, Serotonin, Oxytocin, and Endorphin: the mechanics are neurochemical. You might reframe your life situation all you want, but your Self knows. It knows your true part in the world, your true value, and all your self-deceptions.
- Consciousness: In short, You. I mean, You with a capital Y. The entity reading and parsing this. Your inner monologue. The observable part of your brain. All the thoughts and ambitions that you can verbalise.
- Ego: the bridge between the Self and You. If you observe your thoughts, sometimes you will see that they have gone astray. You didn’t skip gym because it was raining, you skipped because your Self doesn’t like gym. It will whisper in your ear ambitions and the plans of the Self. Sometimes it will work for you, sometimes against you. It is the voice that tells you to stand up and fight for yourself; it is also the voice that tells you to go hide and give up.
The interplay
Here is the psychic interplay that happens during your rebirth as a Player. You start with an Ego, that is, your inner image of yourself. That image is both affected by your Consciousness and your Self.
Every time you practice Daygame and face rejection, your Self registers this as a survival threat. It is a punch in all three relevant neurochemicals: Dopamine (expected reward), Oxytocin (belonging), and Serotonin (status). Your Self won’t just stand there and take it. It will fight back. In practical terms, this interplay makes your Self clash with your Consciousness. This is why your Ego reacts by subverting your thoughts: it gets contradictory signals.
This will be the state of things until you get results competence. Then your Self will start being on your side. All the chemicals that were withdrawn earlier, are now excreted in abundance from meeting, dating and laying girls. This sounds good in theory, but it is exactly what causes Daygame addiction. Essentially, Daygame becomes the mechanism of all the happy feelings in your life, so you obsessively return to it, because comparatively, everything else in your life is mundane and muted. As you can already tell, this is not healthy either and it is the second (the intermediate) challenge you need to overcome in your development as a Player.
The last battle is training your Ego itself. So far, the Ego was a tool used by the Self and Consciousness. Not once was the Ego used for its true purpose: stabilizing the relationship between the two. Achieve this, and you can balance impulses (Self) with cognition (Consciousness), this is the true path to happiness. Let us now break everything down from a timeline point of view.
Beginning and the first glimpses of Inner Game
You read about this Daygame thing. It sounds a bit weird, but you ain’t got a girl, and you got bored of porn. So you decide to give it a try. You go out to the local shopping street and… your feet stop moving.
Welcome to your first step outside the matrix. Before you even utter your first word to the girl, several questions demanding immediate emotional answers erupt in your mind:
- Are you entitled enough to go and stop a girl?
- Can you really have a chance with her?
- Can you trust the process? It mostly comes from internet guys anyway. Your previous life was not great, but at least it was emotionally secure.
The trick here is that you need emotional answers. Logical ones don’t cut it. It is not enough to know the answer; you need to feel the answer. You need to act congruently with that answer. That’s why Inner Game is so hard.
These are surface-level symptoms of approach anxiety. They are surface-level because the true cause is low self-esteem. The beginner cannot solve the root cause. We are not yet at the phase of delving that deep into our psyche. Hence, the best we can do is patchwork. Nothing can help you past this stage except the sheer force of will. You will have to rely on mechanical, scripted behaviour just to get yourself moving.
But why so much internal resistance? Your Self knows the true deal: your value is low, and your life suffers as a result. If your life were already aligned and fulfilling, you wouldn’t be seeking pickup in the first place. It will be a tragedy if these thoughts reach your conscious mind. Your Ego and your Consciousness might not be able to take it.
Your Self is actually trying to protect you and keep your worldview intact. If you decide to proceed, you have already made an enemy of your deep identity. This is why almost everyone who becomes good at Game is running from something internal. Even from these early steps, we are going against every part of our identity and character. The emotional energy to move forward is enormous.
Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Your problem for now is going to stop a girl without being paralyzed by fear. Your Ego is weaponised against you, so you make all sorts of excuses: “She is walking too fast”,“She looks serious”, “She is out of your league”. This is normal, get used to it.
The only way forward is to mentally shut down and simply not listen to your inner monologue. Trust the process and plow on with self-discipline. You will walk miles and miles trying to get yourself to approach; some days, you will even fail to open any sets. Eventually, you will manage to get to the next stage.
Issues → first contact with Inner Game.
Way forward → self-discipline
Ok, I can get into set, now what?
With pure dedication, you can now open sets. But… what do you do in set?
Here is the first need for Technique. You can wing it and pretend to call it progress, or you can open a book and try to properly address the issue. The number of people who try Daygame and haven’t read Daygame Mastery is alarming. It is the equivalent of trying to do math without knowing the numbers.
The pitfall of avoiding instructional material is pretty clear. You have been subverted. The saboteurs of your Ego invaded your consciousness. Your Ego has won. It has bullshit you into believing you are making progress.
You know about the concept of Game, the Ego cannot hide that part. Instead, it can dress Game in a way to make it morbidly ineffective. It makes you refuse to teach yourself. Here is the metaphor: You want to get ripped. So you enrol in the gym. Half the days, you only go up to the gym door. The other half, you go in and try the bicep machine with your legs instead of your arms. But since you are going to the gym… this is progress!
The harsh reality is that your Ego is partially right. It has a correct reason to try and deceive you. Even knowing the correct technique won’t achieve anything yet. It will only turn you into an approach machine. The Ego can see that Technique is not enough for results. You only started addressing two of the five categories (Technique and Inner Game), and even those without a hint of competence.
Therefore, results are still a distant dream. The Ego can see this. What it cannot see is the life-altering transformations that are still stored in the future. It takes long-term thinking and a work ethic to move forward: You subject yourself to set after set with no realistic hope of achieving anything, but it feeds your future revelations.
In the beginning, you will be mechanical. You will be clunky, and you will be incongruent. What we try to achieve is planting the seeds for later development. That’s what matters. Daygame technique is not complicated, but it should become second nature. It should pass into the level of unconscious competence. Later on, you will want your thinking horsepower to be dedicated to things such as verbal dexterity and calibration; hence, the model structure has to be automated.
Issue → learning Technique
Way forward → Yes, practice until you learn
Approach Machine
Finally, you plowed through the first two steps! You can now reward yourself … with even more pain, restlessness, and stress about your direction in life. Harsh, I know — ouch.
But it is the truth, the prior phases were the kiddie pool. We now enter the hardcore realm of self-improvement. To make progress from now on, we need to start understanding the inner complexities of our souls and human behaviour in general.
In terms of results, we are still at a low point. You can throw yourself into sets, get rejected 90% of the time, and maybe get a number and a date out of pure luck once a month. This breeds an Ego trap: getting content with too little.
The results are bad, but you might be satisfied ending up with a girlfriend or satisfied with a high attrition strategy. You need to resist this. You need to greedily push for a high-efficiency strategy.
Even if you think the results are acceptable, the pressure you put on yourself is not sustainable. Getting a lay every 100-200 sets (if you are lucky) will strain you emotionally in the long run. Instead, we need to actually do some serious inner work. Results should be viewed merely as a happy distraction.
The gift of feedback
At this point in your Daygame career, you have earned a very special gift. The gift of feedback. Well, kind of. More like the threat of feedback. Because your Self is still not on your side, that causes the uneasy feeling. He doesn’t like the self-whipping. But every piece of feedback can only come from throwing yourself into set after set.
The girl is your mirror, as Tom Torrero coined. Her reaction speaks volumes about who you are. You start to become present enough to see this. Cracks of reality here and there. These are little moments of shining light. Patterns start to emerge. This is the channel of the true “nature” of male-to-female dynamics. You can tap into it!
However, your Self is deeply threatened by this. Your conscious mental models are starting to become strong enough to override its emotional control of you. As a result, your Ego from this point onward will intensify its attacks. It will try to mislead you into wrong explanations, defeatism, and avoidance.
But you now have a new weapon. You opened the gates of Hell, and your Consciousness can see the ugly picture. It can see reality, unfiltered by external Frames and your Ego itself. This is a pure and rare gift. If you think your sets for long enough, you might start thinking, did all my self-deceptions hold true? Did they really explain the interaction? The answer is no. You can see past your own Ego!
From this point, it is not blind leading the blind. You have seen infield reactions. You have gone on some dates. You have caught the attraction and the desire in the girl’s eyes. Maybe those internet guys weren’t bullshitting after all. This is the path forward.
Strategic approaching, discovering Value
It is a good time to stop the mass approaching. Mass in the sense of non-intentional. The goal has shifted to feedback gathering and understanding. Maintain enough approach numbers to get “true input”, but your work now is outside of the field. Here is what your thought process will look like:
- Well, I am following the technique to the letter, but why haven’t I gotten laid?
- Entitlement was what I was lacking in the beginning, but going into set and acting like dickhead doesn’t have much of an effect.
- Why am I even on this journey? Why does achieving in Game feel so precious and special?
The elephant in the room is graspable. You can see the central issue: your Value. No amount of Technique or Volume can make up for low Value.
The delusions of Game you had in the beginning will be dispersed. Daygame is not a simple affair. It is not a party trick; it is not something you can turn on and off. And most importantly: it is not a hack to pussy paradise.
Instead, fundamental questions about yourself have to be addressed: Who are you, and what do you want in life? More importantly, why should life give you anything? This is exactly how you can start mentally monitoring your Value.
The gates of the Abyss
With this laid bare, all the little lies you were telling yourself in your chode life are crumbling down. You are naked in a hostile world. This is where true introspection will begin. Expect many dark nights of the soul and massive amounts of incongruency and cognitive dissonance.
You have had a glimpse of what is possible. But you are miles and miles away from that life. You are consciously dissatisfied with your life and constantly pushing forward to change everything about you. Ideologically and behaviourally, the change is massive. This is a very vulnerable spot.
All your friends, family, and acquaintances now become your enemies. They sense you want to bring change. Consciously or unconsciously, they will try to stop you. For people entrenched in the matrix, change is a disturbance and an enemy. You have to battle their Ego now, as well as your Ego. From this point onwards, if you want to continue in this journey, you are alone. This means you take all responsibility for yourself. No more petty lies. Your life is yours, the actions and the responsibilities.
Congratulations, this is your first step towards mental freedom. It is gloomy, but it is also liberating.
Issue → You have reached rock bottom. The whole world is piling on you.
Way forward → uncover true signals, uncover Nature
The truth
Keep at it for long enough, and you will start mapping out your soul. That’s the deeper emotional level. The truth is that making it in Daygame is so hard that no one makes it without running from a deep, dark secret. This is the real motivation to keep throwing yourself at sets.
When you can see your actions clearly, with true objective lenses, you will be able to see this deep, dark secret. The emotional prison of your life that had cast you away from your previous path. For example, Krauser had a divorce and a morbid fear of a future alone. For me, it was a self-obsessed and manipulative mother and an early exposure to traveling abroad (alien culture). My mental concepts of the world were not holding up.
At this point, if you ask me, stop. Seriously, just stop. You have done enough infield work. The battle is in your own head now. You have to turn inwards and face those demons. At least partially. You are not at the destination yet, but you have hit a critical point. No more outer improvement can be achieved without inner improvement first.
If you don’t feel comfortable and happy with your own skin, how will she like you? This question summarizes everything. This is your guiding light. The goal now is to raise your value and your inner game.
Issue → The abyss of the Soul awaits
Way forward → face your inner demons. Conquer Inner Game
First success and being an Intermediate
If you keep at it even longer, you will pass the previous stage, and you will see your first true results. For me, it was 3 lays in 60 sets in the span of three weeks (sets 820 to 880).
You learn seduction from successes, not from failures: “I didn’t fail, I just found a way that doesn’t work.” This is not.
You develop true confidence by successes, not from failures. Your Self knows, and your Self is not satisfied without real-world evidence.
This is where the road to mastery begins. However, to even reach this first success, you have to pass four phases of Ego-breaking, soul-shattering pain, and introspection. If you made it to this point, you are an Intermediate. Revel in it, you deserve it.
You are still far away from consistency and true happiness, but you have made your life very much better. The first glimpses of sexual freedom are here. Don’t underplay this. If you reached this phase, you won’t have to worry about sexual scarcity ever again. Access to pussy becomes a question of quality and quantity. You will always have access to a girl one way or another. Any dry spells are induced by your laziness rather than your ability.
State of affairs
In terms of inner game, you have won half the battle, breaking your old chains. There is still half way to go, though. You will dismiss and resist it, but you need to rebuild your soul. You broke your artificial boundaries, but you still don’t know your true limits, likes, and dislikes. Once you lift the artificial limitation from your life, the emotional picture is quite different.
Just because you cannot yet see them, it doesn’t mean you don’t have biological boundaries; this is your true nature. You need to explore and map it out. More importantly, you need to accept your own nature. All these goals you saw on the internet, lay counts, eurojaunts, fast escalation, they are possible! But which ones do you really like and want to pursue? And for how long? You will have to abandon external advice and go by feeling. Now you can start trusting your feelings; they are not hampered by scarcity, so they are true.
Ever the dickhead however, you will revel at this stage. There is not enough adversity to make you dig deeper and find the Inner Game gap we discussed. You will ignore Inner Game and do what you have been doing. So, we have to be realistic. The only improvements you can achieve are infield now, at least let’s make the most of it. Your focus should be:
- Perfecting the date model
- Faster escalation
- Improving your logistics
- Improving volume (of lays)
Issue → First summit conquered
Way forward → Master Technique, Logistics, and skyrocket your results
At the top of the mountain… even more mountains
The next adversity you will face is results inconsistency. As always, this is the symptom, not the cause. To progress to the next step, you need to find and dig out the root.
As always, the root lies in your Inner Game, so this is the focus again. But how will you uncover the need for this?
You will have weeks when you are slaying it. Dates every day, maybe your first idate kiss close. Maybe a SDL, or a very fast lay. Where things go wrong is your own dissatisfaction with your success. The successes don’t excite you anymore; they are not enough. You went from true scarcity to artificial scarcity.
No, you are not delusional, and this is not in your head. You uncovered another truth about the world. Pussy isn’t just pussy. There are gradations and quality in girls. Your results are very much tied to the quality of the girls and are also very inconsistent.
After that week of constant dates, you didn’t get another date for two weeks. You start getting anxious. You mentally collapse. You laid two new girls in 30 sets, and the next lay took … God forbid, a full 70 sets to come! You are certified chode again!
Humorous as it may sound, you face the consequences of bad Inner Game again. You destroyed your mental chains, but you didn’t build anything new. Your pseudo-confidence now is built on paper cards. A blow of the wind and you relapse.
Since you are still getting lays, you will deny this for a long time. Who cares if you are laying 6s if they don’t give you much shit and they make up good stories. Well… your Self cares. The eye of truth deep in your soul.
The way forward is again, a break from Daygame. Your mission now is out of the field. Your mission now is to integrate Game into your reality. Game obsession and artificial scarcity, the hint of disgust you get from laying a six, are equally as bad as the true scarcity you had at the beginning. Your goals are as follows:
- Come to peace with the variance of Daygame. Your value is not tied to the whims of the girls.
- Obsession with Game does not equal happiness in life. You have done the hard work. Game needs to be dialled down a notch to be a sustainable (psychological) endeavour.
- Get fun out of Daygame. Do some relationships, learn to enjoy the girls for the girls, not for the +1 text.
You will also have to address your Value again. You raised your level to tap slags here and there, but for consistency, you need excellence. Excellence is not half-assing it.
You will dig deep and obsess about perfecting your fashion, knowledge, strengthen your worldview, and raise your value in any way you can find. Quality pussy demands excellence, and we have to find our own excellence if we want some.
Issues → Shallow inner foundations
Way forward → Perfection and mastery
Freedom
We now reach the entrance to advanced territory. Your Game is ID and Character-based. It is also Calibration-based, not rigid Technique.
From your obsessive results hunting, you have caught glimpses of the ultra-fast seduction of Daygame. Lays and stories that defy reality so much, people will hardly believe you. The 1-hour SDL, the 20-minute kiss close, the bounceback straight to home. You can now pull them off.
The results and your happiness are a function of your directed effort and your conscious planning rather than the whims of luck. You’re thinking seduction long-term.
Go on, my friend, the world is your oyster. You can now develop new Daygame theory, and if you are like me, even write a book to share it.
