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  • Find A Wing: now open

    Find A Wing: now open

    Inspired by Tom Torero and Thomas Crown, I am adding a Find A Wing page on my own site as well. Follow the link:

    Click here

    How it works

    Add a comment with:

    1. Your email, or a way for people to contact you*
    2. Your city, location
    3. Your Experience level
    4. Your type of Game

    Then:

    • Any other info at your disclosure
    • Let others reach out to you

    [*Tip: make an anonymous email for this purpose]

    Useful Wing Rules:

    • Meet for a quick coffee to get to know each other before you hit it off.
    • If you have the same type for girls, take turns.
    • Goal number one is vibe protection for both of you.
    • If you catch IOIs for your wing, let him know. Now it is his set, even if out of turn.
    • Avoid value tapping

    Notes on Value Tapping:

    Value Tapping is status games between Wings. This is to be avoided at nearly all costs. The only acceptable scenario is when one wing is much more experienced than the other (and hence the person getting value tapped receives mini coaching).

    This is adversarial due to how serotonin works. If one person claims the leading spot, his serotonin rises -> his vibe rises. The other person experiences a serotonin crash -> his vibe crushes.

    In general aim to make the relationship equal, and avoid nuances like:

    • Walking half a step ahead.
    • Talking more than the other.
    • Humble bragging
  • How to be a Talker: Verbals Guide in Daygame

    How to be a Talker: Verbals Guide in Daygame

    It always amazed me, I have seen men, not Players per se – normal men, they meet a girl, and they can have… a conversation! And she would even contribute to that conversation, maybe 50% or more!

    Now that is a proposition and a half. Even after being years in Game, I can’t do that. I can’t even do that with men. For me, communication is about:

    • Either people listen to me mesmerized, contributing minimally.*
    • Or no communication at all.
    • The in-between gradations are rare and very context dependent.

    [*Light exaggeration, I would say I talk 60-65% overall. Still is a lot]

    Given the importance of the Investment phase in the LDM, my words should sound close to heresy to the average Daygamer. Well, it shouldn’t be that way, because the aforementioned style of communication is the one of the public orator, it is highly effective and influential.

    I am here to argue my style of communication and give some guidance on it. I think Krauser closely matched that style, but I can’t think of other Daygamers who advocated for it.

    Why to talk more

    Here is where I will break many of the common narratives of Seduction. Because there is a general confusion that talking means something that it is not, some magical end in itself.

    No, no, no… communication, as everything else, is about frame control. Body language is about frame control, and vibe is also about frame control. If people are not advocating on collapsing their body language to be on “equal” terms with the girl… then why do they advocate on collapsing their verbals?

    The push-back to talking too much comes from the caricature pseudo-confidence Narcissist. He is self-obsessed, talks too loudly, and gives little breathing room to others. In short, obnoxious. But this is the same as using the well-known body builder caricature to discuss body language: they are so buffed they can’t fit into the door!

    Both of these examples are on the extreme side and aim to divert discourse to irrelevancy. Talking, if done right, has real, tangible benefits.

    It is easier to control the frame

    Whoever is talking more has more time to establish his reality as common ground. This is the basis of frame control.

    Establishing your morality (read: frame) first is a tangible advantage, because the responder needs to first push back your position before establishing new ground.

    Think of it in an example. We are buddies, and we talk about Maldives. You actually want to talk about Italian food. To do so, you need to 1) close out the discussion on Maldives, 2) find a narrative excuse to pivot to Italian food, 3) establish some ground there, before I can redirect the conversation back to Maldives.

    Introduces tempo and agency in the interaction

    A side-effect of the above is the concept of tempo coming from Strategy. Usually, in a competitive situation, someone has to assume the role of the “attacker” and the other person the role of the “defender”.

    Practically, this means that the “attacker” has choice for his next action, while the “defender” has a lingering need to respond to the attacker’s action before he can freely choose his next move.

    Imagine a boxing match, your opponent comes close and throws a punch. At this very moment, you don’t have freedom of choice; you need to dodge or guard the punch. You can’t choose to punch yourself, because you will be knocked out before you can even throw it. Your opponent has tempo, because after the punch, he has a bigger decision space than you.

    It sub-communicates Power

    Remember our definition of Power, it can be measured by how Party B has to adjust his behaviour to Party A.

    Well, then, by discussion above, Tempo, Agency, and Frame all signify Power. To the eyes of the listeners, this manifests as Social Dominance of Confidence.

    Who should attempt this

    It should be plainly obvious that the fact that only two Daygamers ever advocated for this, Me and Krauser, means that it is not a universal strategy. It is something that is personality-driven. It will also screen some girls out and attract others (usually the introverted and feminine ones).

    I will make my case on why I can’t stand “equal” communication, and the reader can assess the fit by proxy on how much the text resonates with his personality.

    Equal communication is smokes and mirrors

    Remember the example above? The non-Gamer friends that can engage in 50-50 conversations? Well… I spend much time observing them. After a while, I realized how directionless this form of speaking is.

    • The discussions didn’t evolve to any depth.
    • The range of topics was unfocused, everyone could say whatever he/she wanted.
    • It didn’t build anything towards real connection or attraction, because of the above.

    In short, this was the female type of communication. Everyone taking turns to speak their mind. All have to speak, and you are not allowed to harshly judge anyone for speaking.

    Speaking itself is passive-aggressive because it is a form of indirect attack on status. When you let people rumble, they speak on their status markers. When everything is emotional and personalized, opinions and facts become weapons to showcase allegiance and status.

    And this is the point: it dilutes the purpose of connection. When you mix status into words, then a superficial persona is cast above your ID. Your personality itself is a social weapon… it is a layer, not the real thing! You cannot truly connect with the girls because there is a barrier to true communication!

    Can you really stand listening to girls?

    For real… have you heard women talking? Can you go stand still and listen to branching stories of events and how those make them feel? What is the purpose of the story, you ask? To express their feelings! Not the story itself.

    This is not to stereotype (albeit, still ok with me), but it is to show why it feels so insufferable. It does, because it makes the whole thing a zero-sum game. She gets a tangible benefit; you don’t.

    When the goal of communication is to express feelings, the expectation is that the listener will sympathize. She gets to direct the emotional direction, and more often than not, they will focus on frustrations and negative feelings. In short:

    • You get negativity forced upon you.
    • She gets a status boost. She has power over you by imposing the emotional setting.

    You lost, she won. That is why venting and rumbling feel so insufferable. You are being duped.

    From the bird’s eye view, you have been derailed. Seduction is about win-win interactions. You have been subverted.

    How to talk more

    Now onto the real stuff, how to talk more. There are some hard principles that should not be violated. This is the distinguishing difference between the insufferable idiot and the calibrated Player.

    • The communication is on the listener’s terms.
    • Make pauses, Calibrate.
    • Redefine Investment.
    • Responsibility is on you, more than ever.

    The communication is on the listener’s terms

    This is one piece of wisdom, from the otherwise trashy book “Surrounded by idiots”. It is doubly important for Daygame.

    In short, it means that you are not speaking for yourself. You are speaking for the girl, the listener. You want to talk about Aerodynamics and how airplanes fly… tough luck. If she isn’t into it, drop it.

    It comes to frame, remember that a frame (or a frame battle) can be established when both parties are willing to engage. If you don’t make the discussion about her, she won’t engage.

    Remember the discussion on tempo. Tempo means freedom of action, but it doesn’t mean absence of responsibility of action. In our boxing example, if after you throw the punch, you decide to drop your hands and stare at the ceiling, then your opponent will floor you. Just because you can decide to withdraw, throw a second punch, or manoeuvre, it doesn’t mean you can do everything and anything.

    Make pauses, Calibrate

    Just because you talk more, doesn’t mean she shouldn’t talk at all. Give her the chance to engage with pauses. This will let you calibrate on her communications style. She might be more flirty, she might be more passive. You will have to adapt to her. Stop talking and let her speak if it is for the progression of the interaction.

    Because you are controlling the course of things, you need to become very sensitive to frame control. You need to know when to pivot topics and when to proceed in the absence of signal. This can come from experience or probing tactics. Pauses and strategic passes to her are the probing tactics.

    Redifine investment

    Investment is not about who talks anymore. It is about how much more she does for you, over her normal behaviour. If she is an introvert who doesn’t talk much, talking even a little is investment. If she lets some kino, it is a substitute of talking. If she listens attentively and actively on a demanding topic, it is investement.

    This ties to a bigger concept, that you should appreciate her effort in general. Her effort is relative to who she is as a person. Not to the established norms. If she doesn’t kiss on the first date, but kisses you, that is big investment and interest. It doesn’t matter you didn’t hook up.

    Responsibility is on you, more than ever

    Remember the first rule of Agency:

    You have freedom of action, but full responsibility of said action

    You want control and agency over the interaction… you have to earn it. You have to say interesting things, you have to make her world more colourful.

    You want to control the frame? The foundation of frame control is soft power. You need to be worthy for her to want you to lead.

    Talking too much is not a blanket strategy because it is easier. It is a harder adaptation we have to resort to because our personalities don’t match other options.

  • Infield or No Infield: How to Practice Daygame

    Infield or No Infield: How to Practice Daygame

    “Infield” or “no Infield” practice sounds like a standalone argument in the abstract, but it is not. Practice needs direction; otherwise, it reduces to aimlessly going through the motions. It achieves nothing.

    Most coaches and Gurus will argue that there is nothing to lose by spamming sets, and action is better than inaction. But this is false. Every rejection matters. It shouldn’t matter for the long term, but hell it matters for the short term. Remember, your Self can see your life objectively, by spamming and getting rejection after rejection you are punching the deepest part of your Soul.

    Every rejection has a cost, that is why Krauser called it a catabolic reaction in Mastery. In neurochemical terms, when your brain is starved of three key ones that determine happiness:

    • Dopamine (expected reward)
    • Oxytocin (belonging, being cared)
    • Serotonin (status)

    That is the chain from real world events → neurochemicals → psychology. It is both inescapable and futile to fight it. Therefore, the solution is not to try to suppress this reaction (at least past the beginner stage), the solution is to be conscious on how you engage with it.

    Disclaimer: This is not an argument against approaching. It is an argument against spam approaching or pointlessly approaching without calibration.

    The Daygame skillset

    The Daygame skillset is comprised by five pillars:

    All of these are equally important and equally relevant for our success in the field. A Player needs all of them for consistent results. One won’t cut it, two won’t cut it. It is all or nothing. Seduction is “winner takes all” because of the laws of hypergamy. 

    How to engage infield

    This is where newbies need to be especially careful. When we are talking about learning Daygame, we obviously need to practice. But we do infield work for specifically two goals that we shouldn’t confuse:

    1. To get results
    2. To learn/practice technique.

    Things collapse when number 2 doesn’t directly lead to number 1. This is a big paradox, right?

    To be in number 1 mode, we need mastery over all 5 pillars. However, only Technique is directly practiced infield. The other pillars take input from infield practice, but need to be addressed also outside of the field. We cannot solve Inner Game infield, we cannot solve Logistics infield. That is why the newbie needs to do enough infield work to practice Technique, but then needs to moderate it to allow work on the other pillars. Throwing yourself into set after set, after some point, won’t help you on its own.

  • Ego, Id and You | Daygame Psychology Primer

    Ego, Id and You | Daygame Psychology Primer

    It is a common observation, a beginner starts with Daygame, sticks with it for a while, and then eventually gives up. The psychological strain is too big for him to handle. The whole thing is not worth the trouble and is speculative for the most part.

    Or so he thinks…

    Because what happened, really? The above story sounds plausible, but that is a massive misdirection. The beginner gave up on Daygame, but his life will stay static for the most part. He just traded short-term pain for long-term anxiety. The deal is against him. However, as you read the first paragraph with ease and no friction, so in the beginner’s mind, the story made sense. Let us build a model to understand what happens.

    A model of the Soul

    There is much interplay happening in our brains. We have our goals, but we also have the millions of excuses that come up against those goals. Hence, improvement isn’t a linear path of setting a target and advancing towards there. Instead, what happens is your brain tries to subvert you every step of the way. For a brain that is evolved for survival in the savannah, maintaining coherence and the status quo is much more important.

    These are the roots of the so-called Ego-traps. Game is full of those because it deals with one of the two fundamental aspects of life. The purpose of all organisms, evolutionary speaking, is Survival and Replication. Game is the Replication aspect itself. To be able to address the issue of Ego traps, we need to first verbalise the issue. For much of the Daygame community, myself included, a mix of concepts from Jung and Freud has helped. 

    The Self

    Call this the id, the true self, or the inner core. It is the very deepest part of your Soul. It can see the world objectively. In terms of winning and losing. In terms of advantages and disadvantages. Dopamine, Serotonin, Oxytocin, and Endorphin: the mechanics are neurochemical.

    You might reframe your life situation all you want, but your Self knows. It knows your true part in the world, your true value, and all your self-deceptions. Essentially, this is the unconscious. We can infer its existence because even for people living under the spell of constructed realities, the following welfare aphorism tells another story:

    If external narratives can fully rewrite the Self, then a man indoctrinated into a false worldview would feel fulfilled.

    But he doesn’t — which means something inside him contradicts the narrative. That contradiction proves something deeper and more fundamental exists: an objective psychological core.

    The Consciousness

    In short, You. I mean, You with a capital Y. The entity reading and parsing this. Your inner monologue. The observable part of your brain. All the thoughts and ambitions that you can verbalise. 

    The advantages of Consciousness is that it can see far into the future via the interplay of df-PFC (logical) and vm-PFC (emotional) centers. This is why your consciousness is your biggest ally in your journey. It can provide long-term guardrails while the other parts of the brain will be reacting to chemicals.

    However, and this is important, Consciousness can only see what the Self and the Ego allow it to see. You cannot rule your brain with Dictatorial Logic Power; you need to allow yourself to be human (for lack of a better term). Even something as simple as vision, it is actually largely regulated via the unconcious as seen in the schemantic below:

    Consciousness is labelled as PFC in the front of the head

    The Ego

    The bridge between the Self and You. If you observe your thoughts, sometimes you will see that they have gone astray. You didn’t skip gym because it was raining, you skipped because your Self doesn’t like gym. It will whisper in your ear ambitions and the plans of the Self. Sometimes it will work for you, sometimes against you. It is the voice that tells you to stand up and fight for yourself; it is also the voice that tells you to go hide and give up. 

    Your Ego is usually described as your inner self-image. The beliefs you have about your own being. This is accurate enough, because remember, you cannot observe stuff your Self doesn’t allow you to.

    The only realistic way to bypass your own Ego is by objective outcomes. Something impersonal, so you don’t mix the emotional mechanism of your brain. This is not perfect, because it is essentially judging by outcome, not by process, but at least it decouples a lot of inner frustration.

    The interplay

    Here is the psychic interplay that happens during your rebirth as a Player. You start with an Ego, that is, your inner image of yourself. That image is both affected by your Consciousness and your Self. As you put environmental pressure (infield time) on your self-image, your Ego will have to die and be reborn. It will have to reinvent itself in a new image. However, none of these steps is easy, so let us see what is going on.

    Beginner stage

    Every time you practice Daygame and face rejection, your Self registers this as a survival threat. It is a punch in all three relevant neurochemicals: Dopamine (expected reward), Oxytocin (belonging), and Serotonin (status). Your Self won’t just stand there and take it. It will fight back.

    In practical terms, this interplay makes your Self class with your Consciousness. This is why your Ego reacts by subverting your thoughts. It gets contradictory signals. This is where all the excuses stem from, and this is where all the criticism against Game is targeted. It aims to dominate a person already facing mental strain into an external Ego rebirth (usually of the society/feminist-approved variety).

    Intermidiate stage

    This will be the state of things until you get results competence. Then your Self will start being on your side.  This sounds good in theory, but it is exactly what causes Daygame addiction. Essentially, Daygame becomes the mechanism of all the happy feelings in your life, so you obsessively return to it. I repeat, the switch of the Self leads to addiction, not happiness.

    This is where you risk forfeiting other aspects of your life to the pursuit of Game. It is a hedonistic trap with all its pitfalls. The Self can only tunnel vision to the source of happy chemicals and chase it like a drug addict chases the next shot of heroin. Let this go for long enough, and your (objective) Value will diminish back to the Beginner stage. But now you will have intermediate expectations. You built a hell and called it home.

    Advanced stage

    The last battle is training your Ego itself. So far, the Ego was a tool used by the Self and Consciousness. Not once was the Ego used for its true purpose: stabilizing the relationship between the two. This can only happen when your Consciousness has discovered your true individual biases, likes, and dislikes. Then, through lived experience, it has convinced the Self to cooperate with it to construct the sovereign Ego.

    Only then can the Ego engage at critical moments to self-correct course. Life is not about winning everything (impulse); it is either about not living emotionally at all (cognition). It is about sovereign selective focus. Achieve this, and you can balance impulses (Self) with cognition (Consciousness), this is the true path to happiness.

    Psychology in action

    Therefore, the mental Game of Seduction is about training our inner mechanisms of the soul to work for us. Their behaviour is fixed conceptually, and that makes their behaviour and their impact on our thoughts predictable.

    This concept is also freeing, because it lets us focus on understanding what is important for us specifically. All the guru advice works up to the intermediate stage; afterwards, it is up to us to carve our own path. No Guru can help discover the innate needs of your Self.

  • Feedback in Daygame: Coaching and Advice under Microscope

    Feedback in Daygame: Coaching and Advice under Microscope

    Seduction is an emotionally loaded topic with Ego traps being ten-a-penny. Sadly, as much as lonely a road as it is, in some way or another, we need to learn from someone. That is the required process of “learning” and “getting feedback”.

    Seduction advice inadvertently has to cut deep. This is the case because being a Player is a combination of ID, habits, and skills in all areas of life. Hence, much of the advice out there has the practitioner either remaking their entire life or engaging in highly counter-intuitive behaviour. This is normal, and it is part of the process. However, this leaves the student at a vulnerable spot. He needs to trust people he has never met, on the barest hint of authority.

    Take the wrong advice to heart, and your life might end up much worse than it started. In this post, we will try to decouple this part: try to demystify how people should process learning and feedback on this topic.

    Who comes into Seduction, why maliciousness exists

    Internet Alphas aside, it is a fact of life that, for most people, making it as a Player requires conscious effort and deep introspection. Well… most people cannot even begin to do this. It is theory of mind at the deepest lever, and nature just didn’t produce people who can reflect like this en masse.

    The path to being a Player is only open to a minority of men who can put in the work, are intelligent enough, and have the capacity for self-reflection. Similarly, the path to becoming a billionaire out of nothing is not open to everyone; it is a combination of luck, genetics, and society. All the hard work comes after this bedrock.

    The point is that where there is value, there are scammers. So both categories, seduction and getting rich quick, attract scammers or people who have tried and failed miserably. There are people who want the status without the work, and there are people who will confuse that status as “success” instead of their original goal.

    We are ready now to produce our first psychographic profile. Take a moment and look at the world around you, with your own eyes and your own perception. Has it been easy for you to knock out a girl or make her attracted to you? Maybe you had flukes and lucky moments, but do you have a repeatable strategy?

    Unless you were born a Natural or life made you an Alpha, the answer should be an astounding NO.

    Therefore, screen out all the people who claim Seduction is easy or resort to oversimplifications. Seduction is not easy; you wouldn’t need to learn it if it were easy. It is not simple either, because you would be able to make the theory yourself. Seduction is complicated, nuanced, and hard to master. The only people who will engage with that are people really desperate with no other options in their life.

    Some of them might succeed after all the adversity. These are the true coaches, and this is who you should strive to follow and learn from. These are the people who have made changes to their lives in equal measure with what you need to do. Calibrate your learning with people that had to walk the same path.

    Want to learn from someone who finds Seduction easy? Are you in the same situation as him for his advice to be applicable to you? (assuming he is not a scammer)

    To find such people, it is not enough to read an origin story. You can tell their journey from their writing. Their writing cuts deeper, is more precise, and honest. There is a line in nature to higher complexity. Engagement with something should be the opposite of entropy (regression into chaos); otherwise, it is wasted effort. Read Roissy, Krauser, Rollo, or Mystery, and their journey is engraved into their material. This is what you should be looking for.

    Eastern Mysticism and Seduction

    I was recently reading “Eye of Shiva” by Amaury de Riencourt. It is an interesting book in itself (at least parts of it), but there was a line that struck me.

    In the West, Objectivism and Materialism have shaped the mind to believe in objective knowledge. For example, take mathematics: you learn addition to learn… addition. The point is to take 2 and 5 together and produce the result, 7. What matters is the outcome of the addition, the answer. Therefore, knowledge is independent of the student, and knowledge is the goal itself.

    In short, what we are taught in the West is that the process can be boxed, standardized, and repeated by everyone. This is how school works, this is why everyone knows the same addition.

    Now, take Eastern Mysticism, knowledge and endgoal outcomes are fairly simple. However, this is half the picture, because how Mystics arrive at the conclusion is the point itself. For this goal, to guide the student into his own form of realization, it is a long tradition that teaching is adjusted to the needs of the student by a master. Teaching is personal, calibrated and evolving in real time.

    Seduction is similar to that; there might be some principles of confident or attractive behaviour, but the way it applies to each participant is different. To contrast the earlier example, Eastern Mysticism would say: for you specifically, the way you arrive at the result that 2+5=7 is the whole discipline itself. What matters is not the result, the 7, what matters is how you understood and felt the 5+2 part.

    Therefore, when it comes to emotional learning and realization that are required for Seduction, the process has to be highly personalized; the process is not independent from the student, it is intermingled! Seduction is closer to Eastern philosophy than to Western mind!

    There are qualitative differences in how material is written and interpreted for the students, because for each student, the way to learn and understand it is different. Even if the end result is the same.

    Coaching and mentoring

    We can put coaching into perspective now. What is the coach’s true task? Take the known material and pop out a full-blown discipline that is applicable and calibrated to the student. Because adjusting the material to the student is a new discipline by itself.

    A coaching session, in action

    As you can see, this is a process that requires commitment and time far beyond what people from either side (mainly from the coach’s though) are willing to invest. Even if the coach charges you 2,000$ for his course, is he giving you a personalized path to walk upon, or is he giving you a packaged process like “addition” that we discussed before?

    This reveals the limits of coaching. Simply put, it is my hard belief that it cannot really help people past the intermediate stage. Because it goes contrary to the true process of learning Seduction. It gets even worse when the student wants to transition to advanced stages and has to walk his own path. Getting caged into a packaged version of things, usually from the coach’s personal experiences, leads only to ruin and inhibition.

    Disclaimer: There probably is value in coaching for the beginner stages, because there the student gets some initial (but usually short-lived) confidence and can set some good habits straight.

    On advice and fighting other people’s Ego

    The earlier sections focused on learning. This section will focus on advice in general. The problem with getting advice is that it is always an Ego fight. The majority of advice out there is shit, either in forums or in video form (for example, infields). Because, similar to female competition, advice is not meant as advice; it is meant as a status game.

    Advice is aimed at proving the person giving advice is in a higher position (and validating his worldview), while putting the person asking the advice in a lower position (and invalidating his viewpoint). Simply put, this is why so much advice is being given without justification. Providing justification would equate the two participants on equal status level, it would make them a band together against an impersonal problem… but you see, doing this (being equal) is not the point!

    Even worse, advice many times is not only aimed at as a status game. To solidify the status discrepancy the advice aims at domination. That is why advice is counter-productive, by making the person engage in self-harming behaviour; it is essentially domination without doing the dirty work. It is quite plausible that some unconscious part of the person taking the advice, his Self (Jung), knows what’s up, and therefore engaging in that behaviour is an unconscious act of submission. The next time you question why 99% of relationship advice out there edges people to “break up” instead of actually solving the problem… now you know why.

    The root cause of all this is the Ego. The process is mainly unconscious and not deliberate, however still usually harmful to the person receiving it. The Ego as a structure aims to preserve the person’s worldview, to protect the individual from the chaos of an unstructured world and social relationships. In the latter perspective, most of the ideas and objects become survival threats that require immediate or extreme action or reassessment. In short, people aim to protect themselves before they give advice to others. Just accept it for what it is, and it will resolve much confusion. Explore my essay on the history of thought, and much of this will make sense.

    On valuable advice

    Regardless, it is a fact of life that advice is required a decent amount of time, and also not all advice is shit. We now aim to investigate this part.

    The first saving grace is the realization we had earlier on emotional learning. Much alike to earlier discussion, advice is not decoupled from the person giving the advice. Therefore, the advice is as good as the person giving it, and also as good as the person’s goals align with yours. There will be people who are willing to band with you and face a problem together; these people are your friends.

    The second saving grace is that for advice to be effective, it doesn’t need to be correct. Think about it, why do we ask for advice? To learn something we cannot think of ourselves. Hence, the value of advice is on the different viewpoint. The new information. How this advice is processed and practiced is your responsibility as the recipient. It is like individual puzzle pieces that you have to filter out and connect at the end. Take true ownership of your own actions, and the process for this will become both evident and actionable.

    However, be highly critical of when people’s goals are not aligning with yours. The more people are engaged in the status game, the less good the advice will be, sometimes fatally so. This is even worse when coupled with the halo effect, the fact that we perceive people of status as competent. Like all evolutionary traps, the halo effect aims to maintain the status hierarchy and promote group cohesion, i.e., keep you in place. Advice should always be justified and ideally, falsifiable.

  • Advanced Daygame Statistics

    Advanced Daygame Statistics

    To contrast with the earlier post on Early Daygame statistics, let us see some advanced Daygame statistics. This was a period of 5 months, in a small city with a lazy work rate during late autumn and winter (a few years back). High volume was not possible, so this was calibrated and strategic Daygame.

    Overall, I believe I did at most 150 sets in the 5 months I lived there. This is a perfect example of Daygame aiding my life, not as an end in itself. I had 4 lays and multiple near misses because I was redlining escalation. Three of these lays became mini LTRs. 

    The progression itself shows the full gamut of ups and downs. Some weeks I was slaying it, some I was too lazy to approach, some were filled with near misses. That is the point I aim to showcase, the variance of Daygame even when the statistics are good overall.

    The first month, I only did 7 sets, then Week 1 begins at the start of the second month, all the way until I moved out in Week 14.

    Month 1 (full period)

    Approaches: 7

    Dates: 1

    Lays: 1

    Week 1

    Approaches: 5

    Numbers: 3

    Dates: 1

    Near misses: 1

    Week 2

    Approaches: 8

    Numbers: 2

    Week 3

    Approaches:  15

    Numbers: 7

    Dates: 2 

    iDates: 3 (long 2-hour, 2-hour kiss-close, 30 min)

    Near misses: 1, and an idate that got cockblocked last minute

    Week 4

    Approaches: 15

    Numbers: 4

    Dates: 2

    iDates: 1

    Lays: 2 

    Week 5

    Approaches: 8

    Numbers: 4

    Week 6 

    Approaches: 18

    Numbers: 5

    Dates: 1 and 1 that flaked

    Week 7  

    Approaches: 5

    Numbers: 1

    Dates: 1 

    Near misses: 1

    Week  8

    Approaches: 7

    Numbers: 1

    Dates: 1

    Week  9

    Approaches: 5

    Numbers: 2

    Near misses: 1

    Week  10

    Dates: 1

    Week  11

    Approaches: 17

    Numbers: 9

    Dates: 1 (and 1 cancelled )

    Week  12

    Dates: 1 

    Lays: 1

    Week  13-14

    Approaches: 30

    Numbers: 6

    Statistics:

    Appreciate Game
    ————————

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  • Intro | The Origins of Blue Pill series

    Intro | The Origins of Blue Pill series

    This is Part 0 of the Origins of Blue Pill mega article.
    Part one
    Part two
    Part three
    Orientation

    The concept of Blue Pill started from gender dynamics. It was a metaphor to explain the fiction that society provided compared to the reality that Players found. 

    A reality so raw, unforgiving, and unignorable that it gave the perception of a grand conspiracy. A matrix encompassing our lives. Metaphorically speaking, the concept is the exact truth. 

    This matrix metaphor extends to non-gender topics. People found the same dynamics playing out in other areas of life, for example, political systems like communism, or social norms like the myth of infinite progress. Once under scrutiny, the mechanics are the same. Deep structural lies that threaten our entire perception of reality. This is the Blue Pill in its generalized form.

    In its generalized form, Blue Pill is Social Programming. A totalitarian philosophical system that is imposed on humans from the moment they are born, with the aim of action inhibition. Social Programming creates a judge in the minds of humans. A judge who enforces social will in the absence of social instruments.

    Aside: “Total” in philosophical sense means all-encompassing. 

    Sounds far-fetched? Here is the definition of Social Programming as used in common language:

    Social programming (uncountable)

    1 The gradual shaping of our thinking and beliefs by the society around us—whether through institutions, authority, or simply absorbing norms over time.

    2 The set of societal ideas and assumptions that become embedded in our minds and influence how we perceive the world.

    Social Programming is the ultimate control weapon. It weaponizes one’s own mind against the person itself. Literally, it is about society claiming ownership of a part of your brain. 

    Scope

    What we will show is that this is not a planned or constructed evil. It arises naturally from the way humans evolved. Actually, for the largest part of our evolutionary history, it worked for the benefit of the individual by promoting group cohesion and group survival.

    However, as in so many other ways, Modernity has distorted our evolutionary weapons. What used to be a group cohesion tool has turned into an inhibition tool, a political radicalization tool, and a tool that isolates the individual. This is the effect of social media, the press, and the impersonal institutions that govern our lives.

    This series is not doom and gloom. We will show how Blue Pill is a natural human condition, but we will show how the illusion breaks. As a society, we have done it before. We have faced the illusion head-on and won. We aim to learn from those victories.

    Reader orientation

    What follows is a demanding deep dive into philosophy, ancient history, politics, and cultural analysis. To assist the reader, this page contains the arguments of the series summarized into bullet points.

    Acknowledgements

    The series draw heavy inspiration from Bronze Age Mindset, Sex and Power in History, and Selective Breeding and the Birth of Philosophy by Bronze Age Pervert, Aumory de Riencourt, and Costin Alamariu. Each of these authors addressed key pieces of the puzzle with remarkable insight. In this work, we synthesize their contributions to reveal a broader perspective.

    This is Part 0 of the Origins of Blue Pill mega article.
    Part one
    Part two
    Part three
    Orientation

  • Emotional Baggage in Daygame: Goodwill vs Mental Dissonance

    Emotional Baggage in Daygame: Goodwill vs Mental Dissonance

    We all have been to school. Eventually, we are taught physics, and a particular concept stands out. Newton’s third law: Every action (force) induces an equal reaction (force).

    Commonly known as the action-reaction law, well… it holds for our purposes as well. Here is the Daygame version:

    Every (negative) emotional action has an equal emotional reaction. The emotion you induce in others, comes back to you

    In short, if you are a dick to someone, at some level of your psyche, you are a dick to yourself.

    The Neuroscience

    This is not a random truism, this part of your psyche is real. It exists in your brain structurally, and we know where it is. It is called the Anterior Cingulate Cortex (ACC). It sits precisely between the emotional and logical centers of the brain, between what used to be called Mammalian and Monkey brains. Here:

    Its function is exactly what you would expect, to resolve contradictions between goals, expectations, and outcomes. Take it away:

    Anterior Cingulate Cortex (ACC): This region plays a crucial role in monitoring errors and detecting conflicts between competing demands or goals. When the brain encounters contradictory information, the ACC shows increased neural activation, signaling that a conflict needs to be addressed.

    All cognitive dissonance effects originate from here. It is precisely the part of the brain which causes the famous forebrain-hindbrain conflict in girls: when she wants to fuck you (emotionally) but her forebrain (logic) says no.

    It also explains why frame control is so important, precisely because it resolves contradictions (eases tensions) in the minds of the participants. When someone comes under your frame, they’re getting real mechanical benefits in their brains.

    Emotional negativity comes back to you

    We are now ready to explain the full picture. When you treat someone excessively bad for no reason, ACC will come and fight you. In short, for your (negative) behaviour to be congruent, you need to truly believe the other person is a monkey. This is the only scenario that makes the behaviour congruent and won’t cause internal conflict.

    But for most people, it is impossible to treat strangers like that. There are other parts of the brain that regulate social cohesion, belonging in the group, and status hierarchies. Those prevent excessive blind aggression. Therefore, when a person is unfairly bad to someone else, this creates a cognitive dissonance and induces an equal bad emotion in the person itself.

    [Remember: your inner core accurately assesses the situation, despite the sugarcoating of the Ego. There is a part of the brain that sees the world objectively, and you cannot hide from it. This is where the “unfair” part comes from.]

    Let us now see where this information comes handy.

    Don’t be a dick

    In Game, what is the poster child of treating girls bad? Of course Asshole Game!

    Some asshole Game is good, but don’t be “Roissy asshole Game” unless the environment requires it. Firstly, it is ineffective. The whole point of asshole Game is to raise attraction, but we know better now than 2012.

    Attraction is created when we break rapport. To break rapport… rapport needs to be established first. If there is a constant push, you will never establish it. You need the pull first, before you can push. So not aimless push, not constant push. Moderate it and integrate it. There is an art to attraction, not blind standardized rules.

    The reason to respect these rules is not even about the girl, it is for your own self! Keep disrespecting girls and people for no reason and either of two things will happen:

    1. Your internal world will become congruent with you behaviour to resolve ACC contradictions.
    2. You will be at a perpetual state of self-contradiction.

    Neither is good, neither is welcome. This is one sure way to damage yourself in Game.

    On top of this, let’s investigate laughing. Not a necessary part of attraction, but a good heuristic of it, at least when it comes to verbal based Game.

    We know what “laugh” means for humans. Its evolutionary mechanism has been uncovered. Laughing stands to indicate “we are playing now”, the situation is not serious at face value.

    Well take one and two together and you can see that the “push” only works when it is superficial. A push at face value is not attractive. You need to establish the superficial layer, either via body language, non-verbals or by pulling.

    Simply, any attraction material not respecting the above is misplaced. That is the true key to attraction !

    She is a bitch

    People get hurt when the girl never stops or blows them out quite rudely. It is decently common and happens to the best of us. There is no way to prevent it without excessive calibration (meaning going for only safe sets). Let us investigate this aspect from another point of view.

    This is where empathy can help our Inner Game hard. Start thinking from her viewpoint. If she blows you off like that, one of three things must hold:

    • She is hurting herself emotionally as much as she hurts you. (ACC triggers)
    • Her psyche is distorted so the ACC doesn’t trigger.
    • She has a genuine reason to not be able to talk now, and her reply shows Social goofiness.

    Take a look at these three reasons. These are the only possible explanations.

    Number 1 and 2: it is you who doesn’t want to meet her. Forget the bouncing ass; she is genuinely engaging in lose-lose situations intentionally. This is all you need to know about her. In the long run, she probably would hurt you much more.

    Number 3 is outside of our control as Players. It is the equivalent of screaming at the clouds. We don’t control neither her life situation, nor her social aptitude. Accept that it is a realistic scenario that we can do nothing about and move on.

    Once the analysis sets in, things become much more manageable and predictable. Inner Game and handling rejection stop being magic, and they follow orderly emotional equations.

    Emotional Honesty

    Studies on honesty and ACC all conclude the following: lying is cognitively demanding because it requires brain resources to contain conflict in ACC. In short, being honest, morality aside, is much easier on the brain than being dishonest.

    Now, this is not a post about morality; I would even claim my blog’s direction is more utilitarian than moral. However, we just explained a concept long known in the Daygame community.

    Krauser has called it the “emotional rucksack”. It is an emotional baggage that beginners and intermediates carry with them. It is written on their faces and a keen observer can catch it from a mile away: a cognitive dissonance between the world in their head and the real world. Eventually, this prevents them from showcasing their true emotions during the approach. Well… ain’t this a conflict in the ACC?

    That is why self-honesty and emotional projection are core aspects of Inner Game. You are making the Seduction easier for yourself by eliminating conflict in your own brain.

  • Book update: nearly there

    Book update: nearly there

    This is a quick update regarding the book. Everything is nearly ready.

    Some light touching is left: a few passes to check for consistency and grammar.

    The formal blog post announcement has been delayed due to delays in getting the book cover.

    Expect the announcement soon, and a full release possibly as early as next week.

  • The Essence of Courage: Decoding Mental Anxiety in Daygame

    The Essence of Courage: Decoding Mental Anxiety in Daygame

    In Manosphere, terms get confused and perplexed. The biggest victim is the change in the meaning of the word frame. In early PUA theory, frame was a term to describe combative worldviews. In the modern manosphere, frame is a mythical term to express self-delusion. We all know this, right?

    Bro,… you don’t get it, you need to not care about what she says. You need Frame. It’s your way or the highway!

    No shit. Advice that asks nothing of the reader is popular… If the above phrasing doesn’t reek of self-delusion, re-evaluate your premises.

    The second victim of terminology is the word Courage. This will be a study of this post. Courage is assumed to be a mythical force that people have or don’t have. It is meant to imply that the Player takes incredible risks and succeeds regardless. It is a symbol of status. Well… all of this is wrong.

    What is Courage?

    Staying consistent with the theme of this blog, we need to clearly define terms and then see how we can use them to our advantage. That is the essence of tactical Game and strategy in general. 

    Courage is more fundamental to seduction than most people realise. Courage is Inner Game itself. Here is our working definition:

    The emotional acceptance of a situation during adversity. Meaning both the positive and the negative outcomes.

    Every action has an impact both on the real world and on our emotional world. Different actions might lean more on one than the other. For example, chopping wood is an entirely physical action. On the other hand, calling someone an idiot lives entirely on the emotional plane. 

    If the action has an unpredictable result in the real world, it is also unpredictable in the emotional plane. For example, when we run up to the girl, her physical reaction (sparks, laughs, or rejects) will have a different impact on the Player’s emotional state (happy, sad). Therefore, before the approach, your Ego is in a strange position. It doesn’t know which state to anticipate.

    Here is where Courage comes in. Courage is the Ego maturity to accept both outcomes. This disentangles the Ego so as to allow the Player to navigate the situation optimally. In short, Courage is about:

    • Seeing reality clearly.
    • Understanding potential outcomes.
    • Emotional maturity, control, and alignment.

    Courage is not about:

    • Not analysing reality and situation in context.
    • Expecting only the best outcome.
    • Taking unnecessary risks without analyzing the situation.
    • Especially doing the above without even acknowledging the situation.

    Courage vs Confidence

    Let us delve more into the discussion of why Courage is misunderstood. This will help clear the confusion and set definitions straight. Courage is misunderstood because it is confused with Confidence.

    Let us re-summarize the recent blogpost that we defined Confidence.  Every social setting, for every participant, has a set of behaviors that is within the expectations of the other participants. We called this acceptable behaviour. 

    Confidence in this setting was the smart limit testing of acceptable behaviour. With the core insight that Confidence is grounded in the social setting and perception. 

    In light of this discussion, Courage is the meta-level understanding of acceptable behaviour in the face of uncertainty. Courage is being able to model potential future states of acceptable behaviour and mentally digest them. This lets us Calibrate our Confidence. There is no true Confidence without Courage; it is fake Confidence.

    In a sense, Courage is social fair play. We accept outcomes because the other participants are also free to play the social game. Their game plan might align with our goals or be contradictory. But they have the fundamental right to pursue their plan. We have to accept and respect this.

    How to develop Courage – Mathematics of emotions

    The breakthrough is to understand that Courage is grounded in reality and the understanding of the social setting. Same as Confide, Calibration, and Social Intelligence. It operates according to the laws of the universe, no different than gravity.

    The first step of mentally digesting an uncertain action, for example, a Daygame approach, is understanding the potential outcomes. Here is a high-level metaphor. You go to the supermarket, you fill your basket, but when you reach the counter, you are forced into the following scenario:

    • You have to guess the cost of your items and pay a machine that amount.
    • If the number is correct, you get to keep your basket and leave Scott free.
    • If you pay less, you will be immediately arrested.

    In this scenario, you can only showcase Courage by accepting the very realistic scenario that you will be arrested. There are only two potential outcomes: either walk out or get arrested. The second is much more likely. Accepting it would require emotional control equivalent to a Buddhist monk or a Stoic. It is a fundamentally hard proposition.

    But… what if you had been smarter? What if you had a notebook and wrote the prices of every item before putting them in your basket? This task then becomes significantly easier. It is about doing a simple addition. The emotional maturity required in the “blind guess” scenario could have simply been avoided by due diligence, of keeping track of item prices.

    Here is the insight: we don’t need Buddhist monk enlightenment to showcase courage; we need planning and analysis of the setting. This is how Courage is developed in Daygame. By constant friction with uncertainty, we eventually map out the terrain and learn to accept it.

    The remainder of this section is about developing heuristics to help us showcase Courage more easily. It is literally emotional mathematics, emotional calculus!

    Courage mathematics: worst-case analysis

    Analyzing acceptable behaviour under uncertainty reduces to risk analysis. It would require a supercomputer to analyze every nuance and social cue. For our simple human brains, we will make do with approximation. That is just enough information to make educated guesses, but not too much to lead to analysis paralysis.

    The first idea is about grouping similar scenarios. If you run up to the girl and she blows you off, there are gradations: she can be nice, polite, or totally ignore you. In practice, however, these gradations don’t matter. What matters is staying in set or getting blown out. All these can be grouped together as a worst-case scenario, i.e., the blowout, and analyzed as such.

    This reduces mental gymnastics quite a bit. Essentially, our decision-making as Players is about minimizing worst-case scenarios. Here is the analogy:

    You see a big red button. If you press it, there is:

    • 90% chance to win 100$
    • 10% for your bank account to empty out

    Go on, showcase Courage by pressing it. Accept the probability that your bank account goes bye-bye. 

    In contrast, consider this scenario:

    • 80% chance to win 5$
    • 20% chance to lose 5$

    This scenario is much more manageable for all its outcomes. It is easy to accept a 5$ gain and a 5$ loss. This decreases the mental effort required to showcase Courage.

    Courage mathematics: variance

    This is another insight from decision theory and strategy. Reduction of variance helps the planning process quite a bit. Think of it like this:

    You are presented again with the big red button and also a blue button:

    • If you press the red button, you might win anywhere from 0 to 1000$. Totally random.
    • If you press the blue button, you will win 450$.
    • However, before you even press any button, you can buy a vacation plan for 400$. You are very willing to go on that vacation if the cost is covered from your winnings. Otherwise, it is a net loss in terms of satisfaction.
    • What do you do?

    Here is the value of reducing variance. It helps shrink the range of possible outcomes, similar to the worst-case analysis. Pressing the red button, on average, nets an extra 50$, but it has a 40% chance of a catastrophic outcome (netting less than the trip cost). Pressing the blue button has a single outcome: 50$ and a vacation plan.

    Once we take the emotional costs of our decision into account, the blue button is a far superior option in terms of presenting Courage. It simply requires us less to emotionally digest.

    What we tried to explain in mathematical terms is a model of emotional cost transactions. Theory like this has its basis in the works of Daniel Kahneman, for example, Thinking fast and Slow.

    Counter-intuitively, the math does indeed work out. Our Ego is not a machine: using it optimally by adjusting how much work it has to handle, we essentially help it help us. That is the punchline.

    The meta level

    Why is Courage crucial in Seduction? Courage ties directly to the concepts that have been verbalised as aloofness, outcome independence, and Inner Game.

    In particular, the realisation that Courage is the Inner Game itself is the most crucial one. Inner Game is about being emotionally able to handle the real-world outcomes and requirements of Seduction. This is exactly the definition of Courage we gave earlier. Not adjacent, not similar, it is exactly the same.

    Aloofness and outcome independence

    Let us now do a full circle and tie Courage with Power. This is what makes concepts such as aloofness and outcome independence valuable in seduction. This is also what makes those terms so nuanced and easy to misunderstand and misapply. First, let us remind the reader of the definition of Power from a recent post:

    Power is measured by how much Party A has to adopt or change his behaviour in the presence of Party B.

    Aloofness and outcome independence aim to reduce the influence of Party B. They do so by emotional detachment: if you don’t care, then she cannot affect you. Kind of… because emotional detachment is a defensive strategy. 

    Detachment requires distance to pull off. Distance is only achieved by negativity, emotionally speaking. Think about it, positivity and warmth naturally close distance and bring people together, so distance can only be the opposite. Hence, here is the catch: the Player tunnel-visions on the terms (aloofness, outcome independence) and forgets their original purpose. 

    The aim is to reduce the imaginary power of the girl or the social setting to the Player, but not at the expense of our own Soul. That is why these terms are so nuanced. Undershoot it, and the girls’ power over you increases more than it should. Overshoot it and you hurt yourself by creating unhealthy distance from the world.

    Both aloofness and outcome independence are derivatives of our Courage. Their application is only correct by digesting the emotional outcomes, not by creating defensive distance. This is what squares the circle: reducing girls’ unnecessary power without damage to our own Soul. The concepts are derivatives of our inner world, and they need to be addressed there first. They are derived from Courage!

    The bottom line

    Courage is not mystical. It can be clearly defined and analyzed in Mathematical and decision-making terms. There is a limit to what we can ask our Souls to withstand. If we overdo it, it can hurt us more than it can help us. The skill lies in calculated risks and actions, not blind improvisation.

    This analysis also seals the connection between Inner Game and Technique. They are not standalone Pillars of Daygame. They are operating under the same roof and interact with each other. Technique regulates the input we let Inner Game handle. Emotional calculus is the bridge between the two!