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  • Shameless Daygame: a Discussion on Quality and Style

    Shameless Daygame: a Discussion on Quality and Style

    There is much discussion on standards, quality, and so-called style. You need to get girls, but only get girls that are smoking hot, educated (at least be able to recite Homer by heart), and do this while she is begging for it!

    Well, practitioners of Game are very likely to find the reality of things quite different out there. They are going to find that rejection is ten-a-penny, style is a fiction, and educated girls are more rare than unicorns (albeit, they do exist). The point I am trying to make, if you can’t lay 6s, then you have no business with 9s. The fuck ladder is real, drop your standards, especially when learning, and aim for the girls that you realistically have a chance.

    We will now explore the bottom world of Game, because the “I approached 100 girls to lay a 6” is a reality most of us have to face in our learning career. The general rule is that we first break the quantity ceiling, then we break the quality ceiling. Therefore, indulge shamelessly in what you can get, and focus on getting it consistently, then later focus on improving it.

    The myth of quality

    There is a long discussion on what is realistically achievable in Game. I am not the best person to consult, as my entire sexual history started with Daygame, barring a few drunken one-night stands; all my lays come post Game. Other, more well-rounded individuals have stronger opinions, which I summarise below:

    • Krauser: ceiling is 2 points hotter from the second hottest girl you layed pre-Game.
    • Thomas Crown: ceiling is your (current) SVM + 1.

    I tend to agree with these empirically; it is long known that Daygame aims at 6s, 7s, and 8s, with 9s being rare exceptions (personally, I can only claim I had two 9s in my career, but what I would call a nine is really strict). Regardless, here I have summarised the ranking scale, so refer to that to put context into the numbers.

    However, male autism with numbers aside, I believe this discussion is missing the point. The ranking part makes sense only to benchmark against other Gamers (dick size competition), or to measure your own progress. When it comes to actually getting a lay, the priority should be finding a girl to lay, and then everything else comes second. Public orations aside, no Daygamer would actually pass a lay with a 6, just because she is a 6. He would gladly indulge in it, and bragging rights aside… not fill much differently than laying a 7 (okay, with 8s and above, there is a qualitative difference, I have to admit).

    Therefore, based on me, your benchmarking is a function of your past results and the time since your last lay. If you have had no results, or no results in a long time, go and solve that part first before you start seeking 10s again. At the end of the day, every girl comes with an expiration date on how long she will amuse you, but at least the first time is always a thrill. Take it from Heartiste: “You will get bored of sex with every girl you date/love/marry. The only question is how soon”.

    The myth of style

    Worse and equally prominent on public discourse is the discussion on style, i.e., there is a “right” (read “Alpha”) way to get the girl, then every other way to get the girl is invalid, a cheat, or at extremes… unethical.

    Unless you are really sensitive to social criticism (which is a big issue in and of itself), learn to disengage from such discussions. Nature has blessed the damsels with copious amounts of solipsism, so in her head, there is only one way to seduce her… her way! The only question is how much you are willing to engage with her way.

    When a Daygamer brags that he finished his first date lay with the price tag of a coffee cup and a taxi ride, it doesn’t mean he used some juju magic to make the girl abandon her dreams for vacation in Dubai. It means for that specific girl, getting seduced over a coffee date was within her realistic realm of possibilities. Thankfully, those girls exist in vast amounts, and that is what makes the frugal strategy of Daygame work… over the strategy of shipping them to Dubai. However, there are also girls who will only accept the latter and will never be open to be Daygamed.

    Therefore, if the point above can be so painfully clear, why do people get confused when the same interaction plays out on other axis:

    • The speed of the seduction.
    • How gentlemanly you have to behave.
    • How much of the conversation you have to carry.
    • How many PDAs she will accept.

    All these are what constitute “style”, do you see the pointlessness now? The only thing that matters is whether you can get her into bed; it is about calibrating to the girl, i.e., playing it her way. All the axes that are not actively harmful to you are indeed part of Game, they are up for negotiation. I have already written in depth about this here. There is no “style”, there is only calibration to the girl.

    So what is non-negotiable?

    Let us debunk some more myths. What is non-negotiable and why? For example, Game itself asks you to repurpose your entire personality, so why later on maintaining frame and your ID becomes non-negotiable? Same goes for money; getting away cheap has bragging rights, but why do we actively push for it? Men (Betas) have shown pretty clearly that they are happy to spend money on girls.

    As hinted above, the only non-negotiable aspects of Game are precisely these: changing too much of your personality for her, and how much money you spend on her. People can delve into trivialities on how the contrary is pedestalizing, but these are just that, trivialities; the core reasons are more fundamental.

    Splitting the bill

    First comes spending. Well, the coffee date is convenient and fast, but the true goal is to reduce seduction into one axis: charismatic value. When you split the bill half-half, she has only one reason to stay at the date: because she fancies you. Therefore, her feedback becomes true; every smile, escalation, or other little signal she sends is true. Sounds silly spelled like this, but for people who have observed Social Game, will quickly understand that in that setting, many of the smiles, kino, or flattery are fake and part of the grander game of social chess. Girls will act one way but mean something totally different. She might be flirty all evening and give you the harshest of blowouts later. Do you now see the superpower of completely skipping this superficial layer?

    Building on top of this (albeit still part of calibration), is the ability to process feedback. When she only judges your worth on charismatic value, and her face drops, you know where you messed up. The feedback is up personal and to the point. She will not act nice to tap on your social power, or because she enjoys your party, she will act nice because she wants to act nice, because she finds you interesting. More than anything, this is why I advocate for always splitting the bill half and half, no matter the situation.

    ID and character

    Your character will always be a filter. For you to be something, you must forfeit your right to be something else. It has long been documented that girls truly have types, and they have types beyond appearance; they have types based on archetype. Her associating with a certain archetype of man will feed her own self-image and hence something structural that will always exist: she cannot be a rocker if she doesn’t fuck the edgy rockstar, plain and simple. Read the prior essay to understand how girls self-define through association rather than self-generation of values.

    Therefore, when Game asks to rebuild your identity, it asks you to do so as a means to an end. When you have rebuilt yourself enough to consistently get results, further molding of ID should happen from self-generation. It will be a massive filter, but it will be a strong hook for the girls who pass that filter. It will be a strong hook for you as well, as it will lead to more honest interactions and relationships. Maintaining a positive self-image is a non-negotiable prerequisite of self-acceptance. Therefore, once you find it after the beginner stage, revel in it; this is you, make your core rock solid!

    Conclusion

    Game is already hard enough, don’t make it even harder by chasing social ideals and expectations. I would even say that Daygame specifically, requires you to step outside of the clutches of the good society, to become a rebel in your own way.

    Well, in that world, there is no shame. Focus on acquiring the skillset and let the results speak for themselves when the time comes. If you are getting 6s when you were getting nothing, that is winning. When you were getting 7s when you were getting 6s before, that is also winning. Let the people demanding perfection try to live up to their ideals first; they won’t. As you should be well aware by now, the Sexual Market Place doesn’t lie: high quality women only mate with high quality men. And to be and maintain high value requires tremendous effort. The guy who lays 10s every week should have an equally deep system for it, otherwise he is just a bullshitter. The only thing that truly matters is what you were getting before vs what you are getting now, focus only on that!

  • Object, Subject and Women: Phenomenology in Red Pill

    Object, Subject and Women: Phenomenology in Red Pill

    It is time, again, for a discussion on mental models. In particular, we will extend Amaury de Riencourt’s [Eye of Shiva] ideas in regards to evolution of thought. I had already touched this subject in a recent article, where the question was on how to approach and learn seduction. This time, it is about understanding headspaces and how we can use them.

    Philosophical background

    What we will explore today is the relation of the mind with the external world. This is a curious topic, as the brain itself is not optimized for world objectivity and understanding. Contrary to popular belief, the minimal requirements to sustain life do not really require mapping out the world, with examples aplenty: from primitive bacteria, to plants, to even dogs with limited color perception. Much of what you would even call color perception is generated in the brain; heat, for example, is radiation, not different than blue or red. The same is true for sound (vibration waves), taste and smell (chemical compositions), etc. We have already explored these ideas and the way they relate to frames in this article here.

    For us, higher beings that we are, a lot of interaction with the world is needed, so our senses are quite advanced, despite inherent mechanistic limitations. Beyond senses, however, is the brain’s own interpretation of the world. A peculiar aspect because it is freed from evolutionary shackles and is much affected by culture and man-made progression and discovery. When we focus on this aspect, a story becomes painfully obvious about the history of thought, written in myth and tradition passed down through history. I will keep the following summary short; the linked article has a much more in-depth explanation.

    Up to the advent of Indo-Aryans and their subsequent establishment in Greece and India, during the second millennium BC, much of life operated under a mythopoetic viewpoint. Mental space and reality (i.e., senses) were intermixed in a single blend of life experience. Gods and morality would jump out of men’s heads and affect the real world directly. A bad omen would relate to subsequent catastrophic events, hence symbol was reality itself. Continuity in time was also a questionable topic. For example, a bad gamble or a lost bet could not be analyzed in isolation with a mental split between “decision” and “outcome” (under probabilistic uncertainty), but only as a holistic continuous event.

    For complicated reasons, mainly associated with the rise of Male spirit, the eternal myth that distorted reality under mythological perception broke down with the rise of Indo-Aryans. The external world, for the first time, could be understood as a thing in itself, something that exists beyond our perception and predisposition of it. For the first time, an independent Object exists in the outside world, and a biased Subject that observes the Object lives in man himself.

    East and West

    Before relating the discussion back to women, let us understand the effects of this mentality shift with the biggest split in thought the planet has experienced. Regardless of the culture in which you grew up, one of the two following schools of thought has left a tremendous mark on your perception of the world.

    Greece and West

    In the West, stemming from Ancient Greek philosophy, the Subject was eliminated completely. This is not to say that we are unbiased; remember that rationalism of all things was the outcome of Greek philosophy, and certainly that caused much confusion in the West until the empiricism and materialism of science and the scientific method.

    However, the elimination of the subject is what allows for the codification and reproducibility of knowledge. Take the concepts of addition and subtraction: they are meant to work in abstract. When you are tasked with the calculation of 5+3, you know that the answer is 8. When you give the same question to your friend, you expect the same answer. The point of the question itself is precisely to arrive at the answer, and to do so regardless of your emotional or biological state. Once you learn to add up two numbers, you can do so regardless of whether you are depressed, happy, starving, or with a full belly. It is knowledge that can be boxed in and “installed” in any person.

    Much of European artistic and poetic expression follows suit. Paintings and sculptures are meant to induce a shared understanding among all participants. Even an ambiguous case, like the Mona Lisa’s smile, still induces questions in regards to a shared, objective, unambiguous question: “Is she smiling?”

    Buddhism and the East

    In the East, stemming from Buddhism, analytical thought took a different direction. The subject itself wasn’t eliminated as in the West, but analysis was primarily based on the interaction of the subject and the object. As a result, analysis of the subject itself is more advanced in the East. The central question revolves around internal understanding of psychology, with the aim of overcoming the self and reaching enlightenment. However, with the predictable result that Western style of science, arguably, could never have been developed in the East.

    Aside: Hold your horses with Western elitism. Ideas of measurement in quantum states point to the fact that at the fundamental level, reality is inseparable from perception. Observing the state, collapses the state is the fundamental tenet of quantum mechanics [Born’s rule]. Therefore, the Subject is inseparable from the Object at the very core of reality. Empirically, this means that reality is an epistemology (how we know), rather than ontology (what is). This is closer to Eastern philosophy than Western.

    To explain this shift, it is best to consider the difference between the teachings of each. Remind yourself of our argument on how addition is taught in the West. The concept is boxed, packaged, and made reproducible for each person. The Eastern equivalent is quite different. Knowledge is meant to be personal and developed over lived experience. That is why meditation is important to insight for them. Guidance to enlightenment is through an experienced guru, personalizing teaching and guiding the student to revelation. The student’s emotional state and viewpoint (the subject) are as important as the outcome of the mediation (the subject).

    No words can describe the situation better than a few pictures. Let us now see some differences between Western and Eastern art:

    The fall of Rome
    Some Japanese painting

    Observe the differences between the Western and Eastern art. The Western version is about the depiction of the painting. This is about the fall of Rome. You can see each individual piece independently, without it losing its meaning. In contrast, the Japanese art is meant to be digested as a holistic piece. Taking the boat and the sailors and isolating them from the picture would, as a result, lose its purpose and meaning. The Japanese artwork is about what feeling it induces in you, rather than what feeling it depicts (in the Western version).

    Back to Women

    I hope you liked the philosophical digression, because here is where we connect the topics discussed back to seduction. The revolution in thought, for both Greeks and Buddhists, was an outcome of the Male spirit establishing itself into the world. The entire concept of Object is meant to amplify the Male need to understand and conquer the world. The point of my following argument is that this is not the default software of women. Girls, unless there is a need, do not prioritize Object and Subject the way men natively do in the modern world (either through something resembling the Greeks or the Buddhist thought).

    The Native Mentality of Women

    My position and empirical experience is that in contrast to men, which the direction of understanding moves towards the Object, either via the Subject or directly into it, then women’s understanding predominantly revolves around the Subject. The Object itself, is only a tool for self-understanding, i.e., an interpreter of the subject. Women selectively use the object as a tool to shape their subject.

    When the Buddhists used their subject to better understand the world (the object), women will use the material and external world (object) to understand themselves (subject). The direction is:

    Object → Subject

    In particular, their self-image is not sovereign as it can become in men, but entrapped in the material/perceptual world. When talking about sovereignty, it is the ability to shape the Subject to adapt to your needs, the ability to consciously become. Canonically, that is its definition. Men can do this because the direction flows from Subject to Object, the former is mutable. But for women, the arrow has to go from Object to Subject to define it. Thus Subject cannot be shaped as it is an endgoal, and an end is fundamentally subservient to the process leading to it. The woman cannot be independently sovereign precisely because of this. This is the root cause of female materialism that remains immutable despite culture. Her materialism is her attempt at self-realization: shape the Subject by acquisition of the Object.

    Remind yourself, a man must “become”; this is his path to self-actualization. A woman just “is”, the woman is preoccupied with “being”. But being is not a stand-alone concept; being is relative to the concept. She cannot be a princess if the rest of the world doesn’t consider her a princess. She cannot be pretty if others don’t treat her as pretty. Her Subject needs the Object to conform to it.

    The fluidity of Object and Solipsism

    The first battle, establishing a Subject was explained, and so was explained the woman’s innate materialism. We now showcase the shadow case of this relationship by the backwards relationship between Subject and Object.

    Remind yourself the goal of Buddhism: to understand the Object via the Subject. The Subject itself is meant to be changed (i.e., the path to enlightenment) to aid understanding of the Object (which is usually considered immutable). This is a big contrast to what happens when, in the case of women, we put the Subject as the directional endgoal. Consider the following 2-step logical progression.

    Remember our earlier insight: for her to be a princess, she needs others (the Object) to treat her as such. That is the first step and proves materialism. The next step is that when the Subject itself is fixed, i.e., she IS a princess now, then the Object itself also changes. When she wasn’t a princess, her fellow countrymen were just that – countrymen. When she becomes a princess, her fellow countrymen, are not her countrymen anymore, they are her subjects. The Object itself has changed, and so has its relationship to the Subject. Reality changed via perceptional shift. This is the core and the essence of women’s solipsism.

    Clarification: When I say the Object changes here, it is in regard to the relationship with the girl itself. Not a physical change, a relational change. Let’s call it her mental understanding of the Object if you will. In the example used, the equal is not relationally same with the subordinate.

    Solipsism is the outcome of the evolving relationship between Subject and Object. The former takes priority over the latter, and hence, she will prioritize the view of the Object that serves her idealized image of Subject. Contrary to popular belief, women will engage with other viewpoints, but only when their relationship to the world has changed first. First, her Subject will need to change, then will the way she perceives the Object change. That is Solipsism.

    The experience of seduction

    We are now ready to also explain the main talking patterns used in Game. A few things should be painfully obvious already:

    • Keep the conversation personal
    • Change her feelings, not her mind
    • No reason for logical or idealogical speech

    This and similar advice already addresses the directional firmware of the women’s mind, i.e., speech is directed to the subject, not the object. Let us now explain two more concepts, the one of attraction and the one of mythology building.

    Attraction: rapport breaking

    It is long known that attraction is created in the push, but in our current terminology, what does this mean? Push itself is a reframe, a reframe of expectations, or better put: a reframe in the causal link between object -> subject.

    Do you see it now? When you say, “I like your big white puffy jacket. It looks warm and cute, but… are you an Eskimo?” It precisely addresses that directional firmware between what is and what does that mean about her.

    Rapport: mythology building

    One of the strongest ways to establish rapport in dates is via myth-building. At the end of the day, the goal is for the girl to give you significant control over her concept of subject (this is about leadership, don’t get crazy over the concept description). The concept works as follows:

    • Reframe of herself (or you, or both)
    • Then reframe of the world to match your reframe
    • Keep amplifying

    As long as your direction is towards happy and positive reframes, they usually play along.

    However, this is precisely what we described on the axis that involves solipsism earlier! As the subject changes, so does the object.

    Bottom line

    Many of seduction techniques aim to amplify nature’s biases. In this case, they aim to amplify the women’s mental software. But at the end of the day, the original relationship is the one that stays true and immutable across time and space, culture and situation. Adapt your game to the golden principle:

    Object → Subject

    Then, more often than not, you will be acting correctly.

  • The Fate of Relationships | Red Pill

    The Fate of Relationships | Red Pill

    I remind the readers of one of the insights of this article: Game is worth it only if it is meant to be used repeatedly. Nothing groundbreaking here, any skillset with a harsh learning curve is only worth it if the practitioners reach and reap the rewards of mastering said skillset. In Game this would translate into a system that can relatively consistently bring new sex partners into the man’s life.

    In particular, Game is not worth it if all the man is looking for is a relationship. Take your run of the mill lovey dovey friend. He jumps from relationship to relationship, each being multi-year, maybe accumulating like 5-10 partners in his lifetime. Game is just useless for this guy. Mastering the skillset itself is not worth the investment, because the “just find a girlfriend” task can be fulfilled by dumb luck alone. And it does so way more efficiently than Game would at that.

    Actually, my advice for that guy would be to look for “get rich quick” equivalents (for Game). He can only interact with the surface-level tenets of Game, maybe also invest in some SMV improvement (like gym), and just wait for life to deliver a girl to his bedroom. The bar to just get a girl, any girl, is truly low. Given some basic value, luck, and time, it will happen. For the virgin at 40s looking for a relationship, there really are “get rich quick schemes” because his bar is low.

    Don’t believe me? Check the following four ticks:

    • Some financial stability (i.e., not piss poor)
    • Not fat (lightly overweight at most)
    • At least somewhat sociable (ability to access a few new pools of people per month)
    • Drop your standards and focus on 6s and 7s

    Then in the next 2-3 years (probably sooner), that guy will have a girlfriend.

    Big intro, huh? Is my point to convince you to lower your standards and just settle with a girl given the least amount of effort possible?

    No. My point is this guy above, he is the problem. I will explain all the issues with his life choices. Game is not an option to “take it or leave it” as lifestyle. Game is the mandatory choice if the man doesn’t have other means to find girls in his life. As you will see, this lovey dovey guy’s life is a living hell; he is living a downtrodden life just to plug a girl.

    Relationships are long-term impossible; there are structural biological limitations, and you will have to sacrifice to maintain a relationship. I am not typing this to promote said self-sacrifice; I am typing this to make the point that relationships are fundamentally inadequate to aid your life. You cannot rely on them long term; the life of the player is Sisyphean because life made men that way, and there is no realistic alternative.

    The Herbivore

    Have you ever seen a lion, let’s call him Mitch. He decides to abandon his hunt and love for antelopes, and decides to be a herbivore instead. He eats grass every day. Maybe a bug here and there as well if he can get his paws on one. Keep it for a few months, and Mitch might even turn green, swapping colors from his prior proud yellow.

    Does Mitch command respect? Does a lion that forfeits its feral nature sound like a proud being to you? Mitch is a cockroach in the full sense of the word, a rat, and a downtrodden. But… Mitch is also a man, a particular type of man.

    Many a visitor in Mediterranean, parts of Slavic Europe, or Asia, might see unassuming men with high-value girls, maybe the man is a goggle-eyed software developer, a Beta in the full sense of the world, and the girl is near supermodel in looks. Maybe the guy is rich, but still there is a real value gap between the two. How is that possible?

    As with all world models, what is, is. If your world model doesn’t predict what is, then your model is wrong; the world is never wrong. In this case, however, the data are wrong, not our model: the marketplace is not skewed, even in those countries. Our Beta friend, indeed, might have gotten a girlfriend, but at what cost?

    • How many dates did it take before sex?
    • Is she a nagging bitch to him? How much effort does he exert to maintain such a relationship?
    • Can he realistically walk out? She would walk out on a whim. Also, has/will she cheat on him?
    • And most of all: is she acting as a positive force on his life? Or is she for all terms and purposes a liability for his life long term.

    Honestly, ask yourself, is this guy happy? Is his spirit thriving, or is he being suppressed in every way possible? The fate of the Beta is the fate of the Beta. He is the herbivore, the green lion Mitch. Him plugging a hottie does not change the rules of the game for him. And as all players will know, plugging a girl gets boring fast.

    I remind the readers of the genetic fact that male reproduced at rates of 14-30% (depending on the study) vs 80%+ for females. The marketplace is the marketplace, and the marketplace has no sympathy for Mitch. This is the life of the relationship guy from the earlier section… at best. And in contrast, Game was created to counter exactly that state. Game is not a tool for plugging pussy, you can go to a prostitute for that. Game is a tool for lifting you from this rat-like condition.

    This section covered all relationships that are based on the man having zero control over the situation, so we can actually focus on the healthy side of relationships and things. As a given, from now on, I assume the man is Game, Red Pill, or otherwise, aware of the deleterious effects that women could have in his life if mismanaged. The deleterious part here is referred to his spirit much more than his material well-being.

    Symbiosis or not?

    When people think of sustainable, life-aiding LTRs, what do they think of, really? Essentially, a Symbiotic relationship between a man and a woman. The woman adds to the man’s life, aiding his mission and his development, while the man is adding to the woman’s relationship by the status, resources, and direction he brings. Too idealistic, ain’t it?

    Aside: Sadly, there are two ways to misdirect Red Pill. The first one is to tone it down and mix it with Blue Pill delusions, something that has been dubbed Purple Pill from Rollo. Fair enough, for the experienced guy, that is easy to spot.

    What is harder to spot, however… is this mythical image of the woman that you are not getting because you are low value. Essentially, beating you on the head with the fact that “Blue Pill ideals” exist, but not for everyone… only for the guy at the very top and only for the very high value female. The mythical nurturer and lively woman sits at the very top, invisible to all but the chosen few men.
    Horseshit theory, of course, there is no grand conspiracy aimed at hiding the high-value women from you and price-tag them behind exclusive parties and socio-economic curtains. The high value woman is just a prettier version of her low value equivalent. Not more wise, smart or educated (in a useful way).

    To debunk this idealistic myth, that relationships can be symbiotic, let us see what actual symbiosis looks like. True symbiosis between species in nature is a very stable relationship. Either the partners don’t switch, or when they switch, it is purely based on utilitarian reasons (corals and algae). In fact, even when the species are not assigned to exclusive partners, the ecosystem operates on a free market non-discriminatory basis, for example, cleaner and client fish.

    Let us look at the actual human-like relationships. Long term relationships tend to destabilize over time; any economic-esque models applied to it assume a very discriminatory basis (i.e., participants try to optimize assignment, this is the SMP theory). And more importantly, even when societal forces are applied for the purpose of maintaining the relationship, even then, they tend to destabilize, a point proven in full from the no-fault divorce experiment.

    Therefore, I ask you now? What makes people believe that human relationships can operate on a Symbiotic (long-term) basis?

    Clarification: short-term beneficial arrangements is what we observe. I am not attacking this point; I am attacking the relationship that is meant to last more than 2 years.

    The mechanics of pair-bonding

    It is a sad fact of medicine that the brain doesn’t operate on philosophical ideals. Those are meant to be upheld despite the brain’s hardware running against it. Therefore, what is the hardware of the brain? Relationships are operating on three axes.

    Lust

    This is the part about sex. It is the most ancient part of the brain, and it is regulated by the deep unconscious part of the brain, i.e., the cerebrum (just above the back of your neck).

    Pretty simple to prove, right? Otherwise, we could consciously control our orgasms or boners like we can control thought, movement, and to a certain extent emotions. But orgasms operate like heartbeats, where we have little control over.

    Dopamine

    Dopamine is the “happy chemical” of variable reward. If the reward is not planned, then it is dopamine. To put it into words, this would be the rush of excitement, the anticipation of something good.

    This is the main chemical that motivates early dating.

    Oxytocin

    Mistakenly dubbed as the love chemical, this is the “happy chemical” that rewards belonging. Practically, it feels like passive satisfaction, but it is better understood by its negative side, i.e., oxytocin withdrawal, felt when someone is ostracized from a group or refused entry into a group. When you hear about peer-pressure, it is about someone being held under the gun from the view of oxytocin punishment.

    Aside: Don’t confuse the feeling of oxytocin with the entry to a new group or meeting new people. That is dopaminergic, as you don’t know those people and what your interaction with them entails. Oxytocin is in force later on, as bonds foster.

    Oxytocin regulates the medium to late stages of relationships.

    Therefore, we have 3 directional mechanisms in the brain that direct the feeling of relationships… what can we make out of that?

    Relationships change over time

    Dating a girl, inadvertently, will move from a predominantly dopamine to a predominantly oxytocin sport. The excitement will fade away, no matter what your Game is, how smart she is, how hot she is, and everything in between. This is the fate of all relationships. The honeymoon phase will finish, she will become boring, and you will likely maintain it more out of the threat of oxytocin withdrawal, rather than proactivity, i.e., search of dopamine rush.

    Do you see this now? Absence of dopamine implies unproactive behaviour. Dopamine is the motivating force of action. Dating back all the way to ancient worms with their primitive neural system:

    • Dopamine: signal of hunger, command the worm to search for food.
    • Oxytocin: signal of a full belly, command the worm to be passive.

    When the relationship turns to oxytocin based, you will become bored of her. Period. You will become bored to act proactively, and you will only act re-actively.

    If you want more out of it, you will have to swim upriver. I will let you figure out how to do this, but it will always feel worse than plugging a new girl.

    Even psychology, which I am usually against, has empirically observed this. They call it as passionate vs companionate love, but it just encodes the dopamine vs oxytocin motivation:

    Yeah, you need to work on your time scale buddy

    If you ask me, the passionate phase lasts at best 6 months to a year, then things stabilize into the oblivion of borderline boredom (unless energy is actively thrown into the relation).

    You can have… multiple!

    The second key realization is that all three brain areas regulating lust, dopamine, and oxytocin are loosely connected… at best. In short, you can fuck one girl, date another, and maintain and LTR with a 3rd. All this without introducing major friction in your brain.

    Based on the insight above, it is actually mandatory to have multiple girls. Because your long-term girl won’t be able to fill the “dating” aspect of excitement, and vice versa for the companionate aspect. That is why Game is Sisyphian, that is why the need for Game and acquiring new girls will never go away. One girl is not enough to guarantee all the 3 neurochemical holes celibacy creates.

    Game as life enhancing skillset

    A deeper discussion is warranted here. Because the intro of this article argued for using Game as a life-enhancing strategy, not as an end in itself. This was the tragedy of the Beta, putting the results first. Let us now see why.

    Celibacy, in short, implies chemical withdrawal corresponding to the three major areas implied above, but what does that mean?

    • Absence of sex (lust): In short, it fucks your brain hard. Testosterone drops, and Cortisol increases to the point that your entire nervous system operates in survival mode. Myriad of other effects trickle down from those two. A man who is not fucking… simply is not a man. He is a chemical cocktail of anxiety and depression waiting to explode.
    • Absence of Dopamine: This is translated loosely as absence of color in your life. The sauce to make life vibrant and exciting. Induce it from a relationship and use it as a motivating force for your entire life and its projects.
    • Absence of Oxytocin: Oxytocin signals stability and satisfaction. See the random adrenaline junkie, he lives a life of ups and downs. But at the end of the day, he lives a life of tail chasing, he is never satisfied and always hungry for more. Without some sense of stability, you are much more directed to whims of luck and instability. The ups and downs will hit harder and make mood swings violently in equal measure.

    Do you see it now? This is the true value of Game for the rest of your life. Girls are a catapult, but they are a mandatory catapult. Miss a category and the consequences are real.

    The fate of Civilization

    To close out this article, I will leave you with an idea from the book “Socialism” from Ludwig von Mises, himself a member of the Austrian school of Economics – possibly the best school of thought, if you ask me.

    He was extending Freud when he observed that marriage was a pact between man and civilization. It was the sacrifice of sexual energy from its natural direction into girls, to a civilization-building force. Men and women had to endure self-inflicted agony by accepting marriage, but the release of sexual energy would be for the benefit of society. A noble thought if you ask me, and I truly believe that it is way closer to the truth than all other interpretations.

    But I ask of you, now in 2026, inflicting yourself with agony, where do you release your sexual energy? Is there a Civilization you wish to advance? Don’t you see the decline everywhere? Will that Civilization give back anything to you, even a nod of appreciation? Or will it discard you on the first opportunity?

    Then, for the love of God, don’t indulge yourself in a broken system. Abstain from self-inflicted agony and don’t settle into a broken relationship. Use Game as a life-enhancing force; we outlined the biological limitations in detail, that is your true aim!

  • Sexual and Social Hook Points: Understanding Interest in Daygame

    Sexual and Social Hook Points: Understanding Interest in Daygame

    The concept of different hook points, is not new. Tom Torero had once mentioned it, and it is “scientifically” showcased in the documentary bellow.

    Observe how this speedating experiment goes for a little bit. First, they ask participants to just stare at each other and rate them; that is the sexual hook point. Then, they give them the normal 3-minute opportunity to chat. This measures the effect of verbals.

    Excuse the chinese subs. It is not easy to find old documentaries

    The experiment itself goes for 10-15 minutes in the documentary, but the take-aways are the following:

    • Girls’ initial score (appearance + non-verbals) would barely rise, but it could go down with verbals.
    • Despite this, some girls were still chatty in the interaction and engaged (this is social hook point)
    • This difference between original attraction (first score) and openness to engagement (chattiness), is the difference of the two hook points.

    Therefore, we arrive at the blackpill conclusion, that looks is all, and what we do in set doesn’t matter. Meh… I personally disagree with this conclusion, but there is certainly an element of truth in it. Let’s put this under the microscope.

    The process of Seduction

    Mystery was an underrated genius, and his book, Mystery Method, should still be a mandatory reading for all aspiring PUAs. Not in the sense of advocating routines or Negs (albeit a misunderstood concept), but on his codification of Seduction. The sequence of Attraction → Comfort → Seduction remains the golden sequence in every model that respects itself.

    Therefore, when we do Game, what exactly do we do? Where is our agency, and what is our effect on girls? Well, it roughly goes like this:

    1. Initial engagement: As observed in the documentary, the unconscious, or the reptilian brain, needs to give you the initial pass. Only, and only then, she will stick and chat with you. Otherwise, it is a blowout.
    2. Attraction phase: It aims to elevate the position from point 1 (i.e., confirm and elevate expectations).
    3. Comfort phase: It aims to solidify and ground the advantages of 1 and 2 (i.e., this is real).
    4. Seduction phase: This is where sexual escalation takes place.

    Now, I can formalize my disagreement with the BBC experiment and explain why the blackpill viewpoint is false.

    In the experiment, scientists correctly measured point 1; however, points 2-4 were measured from inadequate men, without the barest hint of skill and finesse.

    There is no denying that the initial impression is hard to overcome in Daygame; Krauser had called it the acidity test in Mastery. But because the initial impression is out of our control, it doesn’t mean there is no work to be done later on. In practice, in Daygame, we reach sexual hook point only after we have reached social hook point. The true process is:

    Stop → Stack (social hook point) → Vibing (sexual hookpoint)

    How do we know this? Because we can initiate Kino only after there is some sexual attraction. The girl won’t allow it otherwise; it is that simple. The Daygame model contradicts the assumption of the scientists on first impressions, because we back up our claims with actual escalation. The initial attraction is only a stepping stone, because (most of the time), we cannot just walk up to a girl and escalate her.

    Aside: Daygame vs rest of Seduction

    Here is where the pretentiousness of some other forms of Seduction is revealed. Status-based strategies, for example, Nightgame or Social circle game, often reach social hook points much more easily. This is either through the nature of the environment (i.e., there is no socially acceptable opportunity for point 1 filtering), or via social capital (i.e., it is beneficial for the girl to associate with you, without even wanting to fuck you).

    The said Player thus gains access to a myriad of sets, but only engages and pursues the ones that also reach sexual hook point. Therefore, technically, he never gets rejected, and his closure rate is astronomical, maybe 30% or even 50%.

    As you can already see, this is a farce. Said Player had countless interactions that he doesn’t count as sets because he never hit on them. He never hit on them precisely because they would had been blowouts. Even among the highly warm sets, he had 70%-50% fail rate. This is just masking rejection, not necessarily using a better strategy.

    Formalization of concepts

    With all this vague discussion of observations and loose definitions, let us now put everything together into concise and workable definitions

    Social Hook point

    It is when the girl becomes socially interested in the interaction. In a sense, she won’t leave. She will stick around to listen to you.

    Sexual Hook point

    When the girl is sexually engaged in the interaction. When her subcoms indicate sexual interest and lust.

    Disclaimer: Just because you reached sexual hookpoint, doesn’t mean that the girl is ready to be taken to bed. It just means that the gradual path to escalation is now open.

    There you have it, as a heuristic, social hook point is reached when she asks a question. As a second heuristic, sexual hook point is reached when she starts accepting your touch. Usually social hook point is reached within 1-2 minutes of the interaction, and sexual hook point is reached within 2-5 minutes of the interaction.

    Not all hook points are equal

    The idea of advanced seduction is as follows: social hook point is merely a stepping stone, sexual hook point is where the magic happens. If you have sexual hook point, nothing else matters; that is why lays have happened even when the girl speaks little English, that is why I personally had a lay even when the girl had verbalized to me “you are boring as fuck, we don’t match”.

    On the other side of things, social hook point is not enough. This is the path that leads to let’s just be friends, or other forms of timewasters. It is your task as the player to clarify where you are standing, mainly via escalation or a direct statement of intent.

    Calibrated escalation is the best tool for this. A few attempts at light touching will showcase the girl’s intent on how seriously she sees you. If she keeps avoiding or disengaging, take the hint that the set is going nowhere and eject. If things are harder to gauge, then a direct statement of your intent:

    • I am hitting/flirting with you
    • This is a date, I am considering you man to woman
    • I like you, I want to kiss you

    Or similar, depending on where you are with the set, should clarify to the girl that she needs to reveal her hand. The downside is, of course, that overt verbal escalation rarely goes well. Everything that can be overt, it is done better covertly in Seduction. Regardless, it is better to have a concrete idea on the direction of the set than wandering aimlessly. Take the risk if need be; setting the frame is more important here, despite the risks.

    How to fish for sexual hook point

    As per definition, sexual hook point means the path to escalation becomes open. This is why early kino is important in set, because it gauges whether you have reached said hook point. The best moments are along with an attraction spike, when she gives strong eye contact, or when you can close the distance with her. You need to indicate that this is man to woman and she needs to accept it.

    It is risk-taking at the end of the day, albeit it can be a calculated risk. This is why escalation is in itself attractive, a concept from “sixty years of challenge”, an old PUA. Think of it from the girl’s point of view, she is talking to you and starts thinking you are sexually attractive. On that very moment, you lightly stroke the upper part of her arm or hold her hand. Yes, her head is about to explode. This is not normal behaviour, this is true Game.

    Furthermore, this is the basis of why advanced Game is so fast and smooth. Escalation is not only an end in itself. It is an experience-enhancing mechanism. When you are moving the girl as you are making your point, or when you are holding her hand is being calculated into her experience of your words. Remember, girls are feelings first, logic second. Touch itself is setting the mood along with your words. It is a high-level mood setter! This is also why Sixty combined escalation and attraction into one!

    In short, the initial attraction battle is about reaching sexual hook point. From then on, escalation, attraction and comfort can blend together into a self-propagating engine. This engine is the mechanism of fast lays!

  • Online Coaching, now open

    Online Coaching, now open

    I am opening online coaching, the range of inquires can range from:

    • Infield breakdown
    • Fashion
    • Inner Game
    • Red Pill

    The call will be 20 mins through Teams/Zoom/Discord and you will receive my breakdown and opinion on whatever topic you decide to discuss*.

    How to book

    Before booking, email me at “coffeedaygame [at] gmail [dot] com” with your inquiry. We will also decide on date/time via email, include your availability and time zone.

    Simple inquiries might be answered via email, free of charge, which would be based on my own discretion.

    After, and only after we have confirmed via email, use the Gumroad link here to book your session. Cost is 10£ (excluding taxes**)

    What to include before the session

    Before the coaching session, depending your type of inquiry, send me either of:

    • Some representative infield recording of yours
    • Your fashion/wardrobe
    • A breakdown of the inner game problems

    [*please note, I will keep my camera turned off]

    [** check with Gumroad for final local pricing]

  • Daygame Texting Guide: Pings, Teasing & How to Set Dates Fast

    Daygame Texting Guide: Pings, Teasing & How to Set Dates Fast

    The lazy texter

    I find it a bit ironic, that here comes the moment, where I have to distill my texting wisdom. I always hated texting, it is the part of Seduction where we have the least control on. No non-verbals allowed, no calibration is possible by observing what the girl is doing. Your message can be read one way if she is relaxed and happy, and in a totally different way if she is in a rush and stressed.

    To this end, my texting game evolved for one purpose and one purpose only. To get the girl out on a date. Compared to Krauser, who famously advocated for Long Game, or his intricate breakdown in Daygame Infinite, I aim to set up a date with the least drama possible. Before we jump into practical advice, let’s put this in perspective.

    Rethinking complex Texting Game

    It is true, there is a skill to texting game. You can estimate best times to send a text, ways to convey emotion via text, and develop sexual escalation via text. The rewards are also real; people report inviting girls directly to their home or receiving nudes.

    My criticism for that is quite simple. Unless you are highly cockblocked by logistics, then you can do this stuff and more on the date. Physical escalation is also the one that matters, because receiving nudes doesn’t count as a notch. If you are highly cockblocked by logistics, I don’t see how getting a nude is a reward, as you are spinning your wheels without practically getting closer to sex.

    Therefore, texting game, and how much you engage with it, comes down to personal preference. If you enjoy it for the sake of it, engage with it to your heart’s content. But if you are like me, and you cannot be bothered about it… read on.

    Types of Messages

    The benefit of analysis is that we can distill different messages into simple recurring patterns. Here are some of the building blocks.

    The introduction text

    This is the first text you send after the stop. The prototypical structure is as follows:

    Hey her Name, callback humor, nice to meet you earlier.

    – Your Name

    Callback humor can be:

    • Whatever you said during your Stack, for example “the girl with the big glasses”
    • Something she said about her “the girl that sleeps too much”
    • Something you observed in set (and verbalized) “the girl that laughs like a squirrel”

    Keep it simple and keep it short. Ideally, this text is 2-3 lines max. This is short enough to match her response, usually an acknowledgement.

    Things to avoid:

    Similar to the stack, I prefer subtle humor compared to blatant absurdity. I would shy away from “the crazy Italian girl” for example.

    Additionally, I am against presumptive forward statements. I don’t know the origin, but I have seen way too many people use stuff of the shorts “are you always friendly to strangers?”. This message is trying to progress the frame by inviting her to point out why the approach was different. It might work, probably it won’t, but the whole point is… you don’t have a reason to place it there. It is a bad moment for it.

    General Ping

    The ping message is a message you send on absence conversation threads that can continue. Usually, her response to the intro above is just an acknowledgement, so your second message is a ping.

    The best ping messages are what have been dubbed “Windows to my world”. Just send a picture of something interesting in your day, with a little spin on it to make it palatable.

    For example:

    • “Afternoon in X park, I am watching the ducks” + picture
    • “Today, I got a big coffee” + picture of a jug of coffee
    • “In X place. This is Mike, he is a writer and a free thinker” + picture of a seagul

    Essentially, this message introduces a topic. Feel free to ping like that when a conversation thread dies out.

    Happy statements – fill the void

    This is a spinoff of ping messages. I am strongly of the opinion that texting is meant to be read easily and fill the void. It is not meant to raise attraction or do complicated games.

    Therefore, these are type of messages that will read like utter horseshit to guys, but are very palatable to the females. It is the same sort of idea that makes girls fill their homes with encouraging statements like “you are pretty” or whatever. Such messages can look like this:

    • “I just got big coffee. Everyone needs a coffee in the morning” + picture of coffee cup.
    • “Today in X park. Sun make everyone happy” + picture.

    Again, such messages don’t aim at anything. It is a testament to the banality of women. It fills the void until you ask her out for the date.

    Teasing and trolling

    This is the type of attraction that is acceptable in texting. The idea is from Krauser. If she tells you something on the lines of “I am doing shopping now”, or she told you something in set, for example, “she likes cooking”, then you can reply with a funny picture instead of going into her frame and entering a boring discussion:

    • Cooking: Send a picture of Ratatouille guy – “I found a picture of you”
    • Shopping: Send a little girl in the shopping mall – “Hmm, this is you?”

    Logistics

    Handling logistics in text is very simple. Aim to remove all the friction:

    • Set day first: “Let’s meet Thursday/Friday“
    • Then time: “How about 6pm“
    • Then place: “Let us meet in X place“

    Place X can be either central or near a station or a landmark. It is more important to make it easy to find and navigate, rather than make it better logistically (i.e., next to your home).

    During these type of messages, forget all attraction and comfort. Speak at face value and aim to make the process easy to understand and reply.

    The Texting Procedure

    Let us introduce the tenets of text game.

    If she responds, invite her out

    This is it, many a people get confused about when to ask a girl out. How to pivot in asking a girl out. You can be smooth and cheeky about it… or you can ask her out. You don’t need a pretence, if you did half decent job on the stop, she knows where the texting leads. Her responding is the signal, because if she weren’t interested, she simply wouldn’t reply.

    Therefore, the basic structure of texting is like this:

    • Introductory text
    • Ping
    • Maybe: Happy statement/teasing text
    • Invitation and logistics

    You don’t need anything else. By inviting them out faster rather than later, you screen out timewasters.

    How long to respond

    It is usually advised to match her vacuum, plus some extra. I agree with this, but only in absence of context.

    If she takes within 1 hour to reply, match her energy. Take an equal time.

    If she takes 3 or 4 hours to reply, then assess. Was she at an activity or at work, and she is free now? Then you can reply between 30 mins to 1 hour later. It is more crucial to find pockets of time where she is free to text, rather than stroking your ego and replying in kind.

    How much to text

    There is the famous advice from Roissy, that you should reply at 2/3rds of her reply length. Meh… I think this is a bit too strict.

    The principle here is how much to invest, or what investment even means. You should calibrate your texting length to her energy level, but you should do that on her expected reply, not her prior reply.

    Texts of 2-3 lines operate in the sweet spot. You can reply on that length regardless of how short her reply was. If her reply was excessively long, tend to reply on the longer side, but as long as you cover all her topics, you are good to go.

    When to send the introductory message

    I stand by this, send it 1.30 to 2 hours after the interaction. Even if she is on another activity, it doesn’t matter. I prefer to text and her taking 3 hours to reply, than try to guess when she would most likely have free time to reply.

    Spacing the texting into longer intervals, for example, one text every 1-2 hours, makes the whole thing less of a headache to track.

    When to set up the date

    When I ask them for a date, I always invite them 2 and also 3 or 4 days after the current day. For example, if it is Tuesday, I will send something along the lines “Let’s meet Thursday/Saturday” or “Let’s meet Thursday/Friday“.

    Why? Because a small vacuum is ok, a big one needs maintenance. For example, if it is Tuesday and you set the date for Thursday, you can leave Wednesday blank without texting. You already have set your appointment. But if your appointment is for Sunday, then you need some maintenance texting to fill the void.

    The date invitation pivot

    This is one of my favorites in terms of closing the gap. Say it is Monday, and we are setting up the date. The idea is to split the logistical set up between Monday and Tuesday. Here is the example:

    • You: Let’s meet on Wednesday
    • She: Accepts
    • You: Cool, 5pm good?
    • She: Accepts
    • You: Then I will think of a good place to meet, and text you again tomorrow

    Then on the next day, follow:

    • Ping
    • She replies whatever
    • Set up location

    You don’t lose anything by this delay, and you successfully fill up the time in a natural way.

    Texting maintenance

    If logistics don’t work out, and you set the date more than 2 days away, you will need some texting maintenance for the in-between time.

    There is no skill to this; as long as you don’t lose value, you are succeeding. Fill the void with pings and happy statements, aim for 2-3 messages per day unless she is a texter.

    If you can find pockets of high-intensity texting, it is even better. For example, if there is a pocket of 10-20 minutes where you exchange some texts, then finish with “I need to get to X activity, catch you other time” and this closes your thread naturally. Reopen with a ping the next day or later.

  • Some of the Manosphere’s Greats

    Some of the Manosphere’s Greats

    I have recently been digging into the old Red Pill literature, I am highly impressed by some of the texts.

    This post is to draw attention to four of these.

    Sexual Utopia in Power – R.F. Devlin

    This is a collection of essays published in 2016. The namesake essay, originally published in 2006 is the fundamental text of modern Red Pill theory.

    It inspired Roissy (Chateau Heartiste) who then later inspired the entire Manosphere.

    The Misandry Bubble

    A 30 page essay originally published in The Futurist, in 2010.

    Way ahead of this time and nails on the head most of the cultural topics that hunted the world since then.

    Smart and Sexy – Roderick Kaine

    A deep dive on the genetics of Intelligence. How intelligence itself is manifested differently on men and women due to recessive genes in the X chromosome.

    Females with XX tend to cluster around the mean, while males with XY tend to show large variations, as the recessive genes on the X chromosome don’t have a counterpart in the much smaller Y chromosome.

    If you want a genetics perspective on the current cultural issues, this is it.

    The Great Female Con – Randead Andey

    Essentially, Red Pill before the Red Pill. Way ahead of its time. Especially on topics like marriage.

  • Frame Control: Cheating and Relationship Freedom

    Frame Control: Cheating and Relationship Freedom

    One of the things that Manosphere has really missed the mark on, is girls’ cheating behaviour during a relationship. The running assumption is that the moment you turn your back around, she will jump the first squared-jaw guy she will see.

    While cheating certainly does exist out there, modern Game theory has evolved beyond that. Whether or not she will cheat on you is within your hand to either influence or see it coming. The mechanism behind all this is frame control.

    But let us get everything in line.

    The Origins of the Cheating Myth

    It is long known, and a fundamental point of Rollo Tomassi, that men hate the idea of being cuckolded. Evolutionary speaking, being cuckolded is the ultimate loss for the male. He wastes his entire genetic potential to raise another man’s children.

    The reasons for the cheating female are very simple. She is optimizing hypergamy, with the real father providing genetic quality and the fake father providing resources. A point we will come back to later is that this model completely ignores the internal madness that it causes to the female (staying with the beta father).

    Empirically, this model is accurate enough to describe what is happening to large parts of society. Players discovered it, because they were advertising themselves as the Alpha guy, with the girl jumping them being the wife of the Beta.

    With both theory and empirical evidence established, we have the total distortions of the original concepts. Mainstream attention has come to this, with “street reporters” interviewing girls who supposedly fuck 10 guys at the same time and cheat on a dime.

    The cracks to the popular narrative

    This is a topic that has truth and fiction mixed in, so we have a lot of ground to cover.

    It is true, hypergamy doesn’t care, and girls will cheat the average Beta no-hoper. But we need to introduce nuance to the emotional mechanisms for her to do so. Unless we are talking about a total psychopath, which exist but are rare, the girl has to emotionally rationalize her behaviour to herself.

    This becomes doubly more important when we want to investigate who has a relationship with her. Because the tenet of the PUA theory is to be the Player, to be the Alpha archetype, not the Beta. Even if the relationship is casual and non-monogamous from your end, for you, who practice Game, the rules we outlined earlier don’t apply.

    As the Alpha, Sigma, or simply put high-value guy, you enjoy privileges in regards to her sexual behaviour towards you. For the Beta guy, she has no respect, and cheating is easy to ensue. For the Alpha guy, she has respect: she can’t cheat if she somehow doesn’t degrade you in her mind.

    That last line is on the money. It is why frame control matters, and it is why, as (high-value) men, we have significantly more agency than you would otherwise think.

    The roadmap to cheating: Betatization

    Before we delve into frame control in depth, let us first see how the girl gets “freed” from a high-value man. How she instinctually aims to degrade you, so she can jump another guy.

    There is no morality for this. From the female perspective, it is to her advantage to maximize genetic variability for her children. Four children from 4 different fathers, evolutionary speaking, are a better bet than 4 children from one father. For further discussion on this, I refer to the Biology section of this article.

    Therefore, the female has incentive to eventually dump you. In humans, this happens through the well-observed Betatization process, which has been described in the book Practical Female Psychology [by Clare, and South]. It is a five-step process summarised below:

    1. Shit tests. Goal: test boundaries
    2. Seek communication. Goal: befuddle, and obtain footholds after boundaries have softened.
    3. Put him to work. Goal: control and resources obtainment. Capitalize on step 2.
    4. Evolutionary selfishness. Goal: realization of the male’s diminished value, destroy attraction for him.
    5. Self-determination. Goal: free herself from the relationship (or cheat), “I am my own woman”.

    As the authors put it, this is a psychological death for the human male. Cruel, but at least not as cruel as the Mantis or Black Widow sex behaviour where they eat the male as they mate.

    The realization is the following: if she has sex with you, at some point, you had value in her eyes. How fast you will go with the Betatization process is on you (and your life in general, not only your Game). She will cheat on steps 4 or 5, this is when she becomes emotionally free to do whatever she wants. If pieces fall into place, this process might never complete.

    Therefore, we now have a model to explain frame control.

    Frame Control

    I encourage the readers to remind themselves of the true definition of Frame, as this is a term that has been distorted in the Manosphere lately.

    A quick summary follows: Frame is the mental concept of reality in the eyes of the individual. As reality is subjective, Frame is subjective and thus open to being influenced by other agents. For women, with a strong innate preference for emotional communication, controlling the frame is a skill of connecting your worldview with emotional feelings appropriate for her.

    Therefore, your long term goal in the relationship is to not be Betatized. On a practical level, you have to resist the process outlined earlier. Your progress on that process is measured by her emotional reactions to you, on the axis of Male dominance – Female submission. In plain English, how keen and interested she is towards you. The real point both of these concepts measure is power, which indicates the relative Value imbalance (behavioural, built, and innate) between you and her.

    Everything together

    In the relationship, the female’s attacks ultimately manifest in attacks on the male’s self-esteem. They are attacks on respect. Her respect is measured by (positive signals):

    • How much agreeable and,
    • Keen she is to you

    And the opposite of how little (negative signals):

    • Commanding,
    • Nagging and,
    • Disagreeable she is to you.

    The point here is that both aspects will happen at the same time. From your end, you need to be ultra-sensitive to the negative signals and turn them into positive signals. Remember that frame ultimately lies in soft power, so there is a correct and a not correct way to turn things around. Eventually, negative signals reduce to generalized shit tests, so take inspiration from the collective PUA theory.

    I repeat, that it is not a question of not having negative signals; by the laws of female sexuality, these will come. The longer you are dating, the more those will intensify. This is nature telling her she needs to switch partners. However, every situation should be manageable from a strategic viewpoint of agency. The only question is how much you want to invest in the interaction.

    That is why spacing out meetings is so valuable. Simply put, boundaries (phase 1) cannot be tested if you are not next to each other. That is why familiarity breeds content at the deepest level. That is also why dread game is sometimes advocated. The space between meetings will fill those with dopamine (expected reward chemical) and leave less time for the Betatizing process to start. The sweet spot is around 2 times a week, with 3 on special occasions.

    The fruits of frame control

    We now do a full circle. The girl won’t cheat on you unless you have been Betatized. No matter how nagging she is, she won’t cheat as long as you handle the situation properly.

    The corollary also holds that when she is about to cheat, the negative signals will intensify. If you are sensitive to those, you should be able to tell when it is about to happen. It is not magic, it is observation.

    Finally, the nail in the coffin is access to sex. Under normal relationship rules, she shouldn’t be denying you sex, unless there is an obvious and objective reason. You should be able to tell that reason exactly because it is obvious, for example, heavy period.

    [But ultimately, you will be able to tell how credible that reason is vs to how the current situation is (that she denied you sex) relative to the bigger meta-frame of the relation.]

    Because if she ever denies you sex, except under the most extreme situations, the relationship is over. You are Betatized, and you won’t be able to turn it around. Better end it sooner, before the whole thing explodes in your face and hurts you emotionally more. Remember, Betatization is a process of psychological death. The end of the road is you feeling like garbage.

    Supreme frame control

    Contrary to everything we have described, there is the reality of masterful frame control.

    Some people confuse masterful frame control with value discrepancy, but the real interaction is that frame control is easier if you have greater value than her (soft power is easier to impose).

    This is the world where the male does whatever he wants. There have been multiple cases where I have openly told girls I date others, and after a few days of them being indecisive, they decided they don’t care. In one extreme case, I was dating a girl and her best friend at the same time. I was subtle, but both girls were in full knowledge; they just… didn’t care.

    Do everything correctly and the limits of female sexuality are truly unimaginable.

    Standard Manosphere advice aims to target the first stages of a relationship where the Betatization process is yet to take place. I agree with that advice overall; it is easier to swap girls than commit to an increasingly nagging or inquisitive one. However, the latter is also possible, as showcased in this article. Go on, friend, the world is your oyster.

  • Living the Life: The Daygame Lifestyle

    Living the Life: The Daygame Lifestyle

    Beginners come into Seduction with the mindset that it is an independent skillset. It is something you can turn on and off, and dividends (i.e., hot naked girls) will magically appear for you.

    As many other things in this blog, I am here to dispel that myth. Seduction and specifically Daygame is an aspect of your life that you cannot fully optimize without conscious planning. Beginners should know the tradeoffs of the International Playboy lifestyle and consciously be able to commit to it. Because to reach the peaks, “normal life” is completely incompatible. Serious sacrifices have to be made in the emotional side of things, but also on the Logistical side of life planning. We will explore the latter part.

    Normal Life and Seduction

    First, let’s investigate the cap normal life adds to seduction. Let’s take the average full-time office worker in London and put his life under the microscope.

    The average work occupies 8 to 8.30 hours from his daily life (30 mins for unpaid lunch break). Then a typical commute can be assumed to be another 1.30 hour for that day. On top, adding 2 more hours for winding down for bed and waking up in the morning. Our average person has 12 hours of his life not under his control, or roughly put, 4 hours of daily agency.

    These numbers can be give or take, but realistically speaking, a difference between 4 or 6 hours (the pragmatic cap under the 8-8-8, work-life-sleep model) makes no difference for our calculations.

    Our amigo in question, therefore, has 4 hours to place all his hobbies, interests, and importantly dating. If he has a date for that day, the date will occupy his entire day and therefore he cannot do other approaches. If he is out Daygaming for those 4 hours, his Daygame has to be in the evening (after 5 or 6pm), and any idate he goes has extra time pressure and harder logistics if he wants to maintain a healthy lifestyle on meals and sleep.

    Now, out of those 4 hours of Daygame, assuming 3 approaches per hour, can realistically net him a date on average. Not bad, but…

    • Can he be at his A game? Our plan assumed no rest or downtime after work.
    • Can he sustain this? He has to sacrifice all his daily time for work and Daygame only.
    • Can he digest it emotionally? Daygame is already hard, and now he has to make do with bad logistics on top of that.

    Despite, let’s ignore all this; maybe magically he can solve all his issues. Let’s investigate results instead. In the course of a week, our Player in question can net about 3 dates (on the upper end of his results), with Sunday, let’s say, being a buffer day to swallow any variance.

    Now, if he is good, 3 dates can realistically, on average, net him between 0.5-1 lay, so this is a significant payoff. But I don’t think even top Daygamers can sustain results under this lifestyle.

    Now, on the other hand, our friend traded his entire life for one week to net 3 dates. Just 3 dates. And this assumes professional Daygame results. For the average person, it will be much, much worse.

    Beyond normality

    As you can see, the normal life already caps your Daygame results. Here is your first question. What do you want out of life?

    Because if making it at Daygame is so important to you, you need to work less. There is no other alternative. You need more time in your life. The most successful model I know is immersion-based, a few months of hard work, then a frugal work-free life for the rest of the year. But by definition, this is not the life that will build you a massive stock portfolio or make you a director at your company.

    The Daygame ethos is built on freedom. The famous Player stories maximized for freedom, not for status.

    The Vibe side of the Equation

    Back to our office worker example, we made a big simplification that he can “just” take care of the accumulated emotional strain. Well, this is false.

    Our worker has to deal with work stress, then the constant ups and downs of approaching and rejection, then the same times two during the date. He will have to brave near misses, imperfect logistics, and all the craziness that accompanies being with women for too long.

    Take my word, his vibe will crush within a 2-week period. If he is really devoted, maybe he will last a month. Because vibe is not a magical thing, maintaining a good vibe is an outcome of life decisions.

    Sleep

    Sleep has roughly 3 purposes:

    1. Pass information to long term memory.
    2. Repair the damaged body.
    3. Emotional regulation.

    All three are majorly important, and although it is tempting to focus only on the last one, you should sleep for all three reasons.

    Points 1 and 2 happen during deep sleep, a process that begins around the 2nd hour and is mostly complete by the 6th hour of sleep. While Point 3 is loaded for the latter half of the sleep, the REM sleep, with 80% happening on 6th to 8th hour of sleep.

    But don’t take blog scientific mambo jambo just like this, go test it yourself. For one week, let yourself sleep for as long as you like. Then the next day, sleep for 5 hours. Your entire state will crush. You will be emotionally much more vulnerable, think less clearly, and instinctively avert your eyes when making eye contact with others.

    There are many ways to interpret this, but if you ask me, the 5-hour sleep guy cannot even do Daygame in this state. The next time you hear people praising sleeplessness, remember the relevant statistic that people who average less than 6 hours of sleep have significantly shorter life spans [Why We Sleep – Matthew Walker].

    Purpose

    Daygame is based on Agency. That is a core Red Pill tenet and doubly true on a form of Game that emphasizes freedom. The concepts work empirically because purpose is a core characteristic of the Male Psyche.

    Now, we don’t need to be enlightened buddhist monks, but a self-sourced project, based on your creativity, like writing a book or this blog itself, will do wonders for your vibe.

    Once you taste the true gifts of Male need for “creation”, you will never be able to see the world the same way. The modern workplace that takes away all agency, and most importantly, all interpersonal connections, is slavery to levels never seen before in human history.

    No Roman slave or plantation worker was so psychicaly oppressed as the modern office worker. At the end of the day, life was closer to nature, and people always had the option to escape society and opt out. Now all space is owned by one State or another. People are not allowed any form of subsistence that doesn’t go through the state’s purse (taxation) or is mediated via the State (benefits). The problem is not city life itself; the problem is that there is no other life available than the disgrace of city life.

    These are two examples I am personally highly opinionated on, but smarter people than me would also argue on:

    • Diet
    • Gym and exercise
    • Human connections
    • Financial freedom

    This doesn’t complete the list, but it is a good baseline to ask the question: Is the life that you are leading now, working for, or against the concepts (holistically) we just discussed?

    Against lifestyle status

    The previous sections were focused on what prevents people from entering the Player lifestyle. Now, let us address the distortions of that lifestyle.

    The Daygame dream

    You take the weekend off from your busy life, you arrive in Prague on a Friday evening. You already have plans with your buddies to hit the streets. Lo and behold, Saturday comes, and you have a hot date. It matures to a 3-hour lay, and you see her again on Sunday. Later that day, you have to say a half-heartbroken goodbye (from her side, you are too cool to care) and take your flight back home for your busy work on Monday.

    Is that the dream? Fuck no.

    That whole life is not practical. Too many things are crammed into too little time. Too much emotional volatility to digest in a small time. The principles of this article apply here: You cannot feel emotional reward without an emotional negative.

    You cannot have that life without turning into a soulless robot. The numbers just don’t add up. It is not even your vibe diminishing; it is you making bad decisions.

    But still, that lifestyle is being sold as the dream: the dream of having everything. The girl, the job, the money, the lifestyle, proper high value!

    As everything with internet marketing, it is a status game, either from Players trying to deceive you or, even worse, by non-Players trying to deceive you. The value proposition is obvious, so people can hook and bite. This is the hedonistic type of value, because they cannot advertise the calm, background value that Daygame eventually adds to your life.

    The Daygame Value

    I remind the readers of this article that goes into depth on how Game adds value to your life on a practical level.

    Let us expand and investigate the meta-concepts. For the people who gravitate to Daygame, Daygame is a tool of freedom. It provides geographical independence and release of multiple biochemicals with regards to mating that significantly hinder the male otherwise. Finally, independence itself is a mark of power.

    My happiest moments in life were when I had a cheap bachelor apartment, centrally located, and living frugally. Not when I had overpriced luxury apartments and a job title to match. The former is only possible with Daygame. Once you enable it, you will see how little you need beyond sleep and food to be happy.

    However, to realize all of those benefits, it is imperative to not trap yourself into artificial scarcity. The person who fucks 7 girls in 7 days, doesn’t have time to truly enjoy the experience emotionally. To cram so much adrenaline and emotional instability, he needs to numb himself. The achievement is just for status, and the sexual release aside, he probably didn’t enjoy it that much.

    Give yourself time to enjoy the girls. Don’t chase dopamine spike after dopamine spike (or do it in moderation… we all have our phases). Spread it out and mix it with other vibe-enhancing aspects. Girls are just the cherry on top; this is the result that all Players arrive at.

  • The Girl is Your Mirror: Daygame as Therapy

    The Girl is Your Mirror: Daygame as Therapy

    Originally attributed to Tom Torero, this has become a tenet of Daygame. Combined with the discussion on Empathy, these two principles are responsible for much of a Daygamer’s improvement over time.

    I was always interpreting this advice at the second level of thinking (“I know, that you know, that I know”), i.e., the Player needs to observe his feelings, in response to the girl’s reaction, to his approach → then all Inner Game issues are magically revealed.

    However, after discussions with a fellow Daygamer, it came to my understanding that there are multiple ways that this tenet can be interpreted. If done wrong, it actually leads to regression than to improvement.

    Levels of thinking

    This discussion has to begin with a Game Theory topic, explaining the depth of analysis in head-to-head adversarial games.

    This concept has been immortalised in this scene from the old Zorro TV Series. It goes as follows:

    • The villain has two cups, one with wine and one with poison.
    • He offers Zorro a cup, which he has the option to swap.
    • Then they both drink, and the person who got the poison dies.

    It feels like pure chance, right? At the end of the day, Zorro has 50-50 chance of drinking the poison.

    This would be true assuming the participants had no intelligence or motives. What really happens is the following: let us describe it from the person who assigns the cups originally (i.e., the villain):

    • Villain wants Zorro to die → gives him the poison (Level 0)
    • Villain knows that Zorro knows his motives. He assumes Zorro will swap → gives himself the poison (Level 1)
    • Villain knows that Zorro knows he will think at Level 1. Assumes Zorro won’t swap to outplay him → gives Zorro the poison (Level 2)

    In short, Zorro swaps at Levels with odd parity and doesn’t swap at Levels with even parity.

    Therefore, from Villain’s point of view: at step 2N, the Villain gives Zorro the poison, who assumes that he won’t swap. At step 2N+1, he will give himself the poison, assuming Zorro would swap.

    From Zorro’s point of view: if he matches the parity of the Villain’s level of thinking (odd to odd, or even to even), then the Villain gets the poison → Zorro wins

    As you can see, what started as a 50-50 chance has now reduced to a guessing game. Of course, there are infinite ways that both Zorro and Villain can win, justifying the probability, but thinking probabilistically is the mistake. Thinking Empathetically decides who wins and who loses instead.

    Levels of Thinking and Game

    Big discussion about something seemingly unrelated to Game, right? The principles of LDM dictate that seduction is cooperative (win-win), rather than adversarial.

    Wrong, dear friend, because the levels of thinking don’t apply to Player vs Girl, they apply to how Player gets feedback and how he discusses that feedback with peers.

    The Daygame approach

    Level Zero: What is

    This is the basic and malicious judgment level. I am including it only because it is so prominent. It will be for the mental benefit of the Player to learn to catch it quickly and disqualify the person directing the conversation there.

    Level Zero is on holistic value:

    • Did the girl reject you → you must suck.
    • Did you got a meaningless number through absurd flash Game → you are awesome (the number matters)

    At its most deceptive, this is how people judge Game based on outcome, not on intent. Is the girl receptive? That must mean good Game.

    Sadly, this is the signal that most people react to. However,… we are here to get laid, so fuck the world. Let others think like this, you go on and ignore them.

    Level 1: Why is that

    Here is where analysis begins. When you get rejected, it is not because you suck as a whole. It is because some factors of you made you unattractive to her. For example, your vibe was off, your fashion was off, or there was value mismatch between you two.

    By isolating factors, the analysis becomes more mechanistic and impersonal, rather than personal. Good, this is the first step towards improvement, but over-reliance here can cause problems.

    The thinking itself is analytic vs holistic, however it is not synthetic. Sadly, at extremes, this is prone to fatalism. Browse the average online forum, and people reduce seduction to “height”, or “genetics”, or “social circle”. You get the picture.

    Level 2: The factors behind the “why”

    Here is where it gets interesting. It is not about the factors working independently, but it is about how the pieces interact with each other in a complete model.

    It is how your mentality induces your behaviour that the girl interacts based on her prior body language and value. It is also a guideline of possible girl outcomes vs your prior assumptions and personality intricacies.

    This is where failure becomes admissible, because you want failure itself as a filtering mechanism. Not all failures are created equally, and how you manage some failures affects your long-term vibe.

    This level is the ideal for feedback in Seduction.

    Level 3 and beyond: Calibration

    Level 3 and above can be grouped together as Calibration and micro-Calibration. It can be about specific cultural nuances or well-studied body language and personality reading.

    You will develop it naturally with Game exposure, but it shouldn’t matter that much when analysing feedback. This is a long-term project that naturally will fall into place with experience.

    Every piece at its place

    Here is where we connect Game Theory with Seduction even further.

    Did you remember the observation that Zorro can win or lose the Game depending on his level of thinking relative to his opponent? The same is true here. Try to analyze a piece of feedback, for example, a Level 3 minute costume at a Level 1 spot… and you get disaster.

    The point is that as you go deeper, higher structures are revealed to you, but this should not happen at the expense of the foundations. I am not advocating for intellectual elitism, but I am advocating for a correct level of analysis.

    Full Circle

    Therefore, we are ready to close the loop on the “Girl is your Mirror” argument.

    At Level Zero, this is advice about how this girl reacted. It edges toward monomania and will actually hinder your progress rather than assist it.

    At Level One, this is general feedback over big sample sizes. It is averagely useful at understanding isolated changes over long sessions. For example, the new jacket yielded a small spike in results in 20 sets. Maybe this is a good change to adopt.

    At Level Two is where the advice shines. As I stated earlier, it translates to: what does her reaction induce in me? If you get overly anxious when she doesn’t encourage your approach immediately, the point is your anxiety, not her reaction. It revealed your Inner Game gap.

    The True Value of Game

    That final statement is where Daygame will aid your life the most. Emotional progress and stability, i.e., what we call Inner Game, can make a night-and-day difference in the average person’s life.

    Take a broken office dweller and give him a superbabe. Or give him a Lambo. Give him both for fuck’s sake… After the emotional spike wears off… you will find the same broken man. Life’s achievements should come at the end of a bedrock of ability. Unearned riches are more adversarial in the long run.

    Now take the same man and teach him Game and Independence. He will quit his job and be self-sufficient with half of his current needs. That is the point: Happiness is an Inner Game equation as much as it is induced by the external reality.